close but no cigar...

so... I went and faced that darn WW scale on Saturday morning. I went Friday night and ran 4 miles. I could have ran more but I had to run to get Dylan, so I was literally out of time. It was pretty amazing though because by the time I hit 3 1/2 miles I had this pace just going that I could have just kept up with for as long as I decided to. It was like standing, it wasn't any big deal to keep watching tv, listening to my mp3 player and running.. I know my neighbor Adam said eventually it would get to be like that.. but I had my doubts. So Friday I had to go #2 3 times, plus I went again right away Sat morning.. not to mention all the water I drank all week so I figured I should have lost a little something during the week. On Saturday morning I weighed myself at home and was 153.1... okay that's good at least it's close to the 152 mark. It appears as if I've been trying.. so I grab the lightest clothes I could find.. a tiny thong, a sports bra made of pratically nothing, a t-shirt so thin you could see through it, and the lightest workout pants I own. I get to WW and get on the scale and it's 153.2.. umm there is no way that my clothes only weighed .1 of a lb.. but hey WHO AM I TO ARGUE! I'll take it! lol! So Sally my leader immediately starts asking what's up.. I explain the holidays, a 30th birthday, mixed with changing my pcos treatments just wasn't good timing but I was working on it.. so she asks if I want to up my goal weight. I made my goal weight what it is for a reason, not so I could blow it off and wind up being a fat cow again, thanks.. no I know I had to pay this month, I'll pay. I thought *maybe* I could get under 152, I tried, didn't make it.. oh well.. that's fine. I found a coupon for $10 for LT members and I used that... so if I chuck it up to a $10 penalty fee for all the free meetings I've had in the last year, it was worth it. Plus I learned something for next year.. don't mix 30th birthdays, the holidays, and pocs treatments! lol! ;)

So of course after that, the journal flew out the window.. went to Angelica's 2nd birthday at House of Hunan... buffett! OMG did I eat.. then the cake came out.. my favorite Jewel cake.. so yummy.. then dinner at Arby's even though I wasn't even hugnry I couldn't pass up a hot ham and cheese.. oh and choc chip cookies.. oh and Sunday dinner at Toco El Norte.. yeah it was a fun eating weekend! lol! I'm a food addict, I know!

MY HERO, DA BEARS, and the angels will sing if it kills me...

Well yesterday was a pretty eventful day.. A co-worker of Tim's had a heart attack. Tim found him 5 minutes later and did CPR on him until the paramedics came. The paramedics got him going again on the way to the hospital, but he his still not concious so we will see how this progresses. I guess this is just another example of why everyone needs to live life to the fullest. Each day is truely a gift...

DA BEARS.. are going to SUPERBOWL!! whoo-hoo It's been 21 years in the making.. but here we are again! once per generation, does that sound right? I was in 4th grade and my son Dylan is in 7th.. I guess so! lol! Either way, Tim and I are having a superbowl party!

Tim and I went to the Cardinal on Randall this weekend! Their machines are great! I love that place. I'd rather drive there to work out if I can. Maybe on the weekends we'll do that. I ran on Saturday (and mall walked that morning), then ran again on Monday. The scale finally said 153.8 this am. I'll still have to pay for my meeting this month, but oh well.. what can I do? I'll just do my best the rest of this week and try to get down a little more before Saturday and go weigh in. No biggie. I know I'm back on track and will continue. I'd really like to get down to my personal goal of 140 someday... someday.... someday...

Blue is doing well in AZ. My parents love having him down there. It sounds like they enjoy his little antics!

the road to success can BITE MY ARSE!

Yeah so the first week back on program was great.. got down 5lbs no problem.. after that the scale has climbed and I've been doing really well. Walking a few days per week, going to the gym a few days per week, using my workout DVDs a few days per week.. so I'm thinking I'm doing well and the scale is YELLING at me that I'm not doing that well and it SUCKS! So here I am back up to 156 and holding.. I can pray all I want.. I'm not making it under 152 by the 31st.. it doesn't matter.. it's just NOT HAPPENING... so today I left work at lunch and worked out.. OMG what a difference. I had so much more energy, got through my 3 mile run like I'd been running it every day, did some weights/machines, some ball exercises, even some stretching.. took my shower and got back to work in an hour and 45 minutes.. not bad! I'm hoping I'm back on track now! Also got what I'll call a TOM on Sunday night... so maybe that's why I'm up?? I dunno!

running back to.... to... ME, I guess!

So I went running last week twice, was going to go over the weekend to check out Tim's gym.. never got around to it.. I did, however, walk Friday, Saturday AND Sunday plus we worked around the house a ton... anyway.. I'm trying to flip flop my points so I eat more points during the day so yesterday I had eaten I think 13 points by the time I got to the gym (normally I'm around 9-10 points by 5pm) . I got to the gym and was just dreading running, I get there and the place is packed.. had to park really far down.. no biggie I'm coming to work out the walk will do me good.. get in there and there is not one open treadmill.. okay I'll go change when I get out maybe there will be one.. yeah there were two.. I grabbed one and started running.. there was a girl running next to me at a pace I normally walk at (walk FAST at, but none the less walk at) and to me she looked to be in much better shape than me.. but for whatever reason we kept along with each other. I ran 2 miles than stopped and walked a bit, then ran, walked, sprinted, walked.. I wound up burning 400 calories, jogging/walking over 3.5 miles all in under 45 minutes.. and the best part.. I left feeling freakin great! I was estatic.. I wasn't tired, I wasn't sore.. nothing.. it was wonderful! Best part.. I got on the scale today and was down to 155.2! whoo-hoo.. I might be able to actually weigh in this month without paying.. we can pray...

and hopefully this round I'll actually keep losing and get down to that 140 I've been waiting for. I think I changed my personal goal weight to 135 because even when I was 141 I was still feeling a bit on the pudge side. We'll see how this round goes!

Blue left last Wednesday for AZ!! And finally it's getting cold her so I don't feel so bad.. the first couple days after he left it was in the 50's! I was like "I DID NOT SEND MY DOG AWAY FROM ME FOR 3 MONTH SO IT COULD BE 50 DEGREES HERE IN CHICAGO"!! lol! He did well on the drive, my mom said the last day he was a bit antsy, but other than that he has been really good.. my sister warned me that I might not get that dog back and I think that there is some truth to that because my mom is totally ga-ga for that dog now! ughhh Anyway, we're going to AZ in February, I found tickets for $153 round trip.. couldn't pass it up.. I can't wait to see my little guy.. only 5 more weeks! lol!

i'm going to make those f'in angels sing.. I swear it...

I'm back at it today.. back on the wagon.. determined to make my personal goal weight of 140! Those angels will sing one day soon.. I got my new WW scale that is digital.. I just have to set it up to calculate bmi and body fat % and I'm in business. At least for now I can actually tell if I'm 150 or 155! yikes.. got on this am and was 160.2.. yeah I have a ways to go to get to go back to WW. I have a funny feeling I'll be paying for this month at least...

Blue leaves for AZ tomorrow for 3 months.. I'm REALLY upset about it.. but it's better for him.. had all his shots/tests on Friday... so now I just have to pack up all his little doggie stuff and cart him over to my mom's tonight and it's done.. poor little man. I miss him already. I just know it's a better thing for him to be with my parents in the nice warm AZ weather vs here in sub zero temps.

haven't run at all since the 8th, my new lQQk, and my husbands balls belong in a vice

yes, there it is.. I was off for 9 days... got very little accomplished including having my IUD put in which I really needed the time off to do.. but of course every time I called the office assured me once I got my now 2 week late period that 17 pregnancy tests confirmed was still on it's way that I could be squeezed in between 2 appointments.. "it won't take long" but sure as shit, I'm peeing on the stick and bleeding at the same time on Friday morning, ran to call the drs office and of course.. Tuesday at 2:15.. UMM NO I've explained my situation several times and you assured me I could be squeezed in. I'm off all day today and tomorrow, I can come in any time.. did someone cancel.. "nope people don't call to cancel until after their appt was suppossed to happen" UMM YEAH THAT'S BECAUSE YOU GUYS ARE RETARDS AND DON'T CALL THE DAY BEFORE TO REMIND PEOPLE OF THEIR APPOINTMENTS THAT THEY HAVE TO MAKE 3 MONTHS IN ADVANCE THAT THEY ALL PROBABLY FORGET ABOUT! ASSHOLES. okay.. anyway. so I never go to the gym not once during those 9 days.. then Monday night I was going to go and wound up working late and not being able to go, yesterday I had the blasted IUD appointment. After that I called my husband told him I was putting his ball in a vice then grabbing an old rusty wire hanger and shoving it up his dick hole and spinning it once every 3-4 seconds.

OKAY and on to my new lQQk, I saw a pic of Cameron Diaz and she has her hair super dark brown red tone with about the same cut as me.. so one Friday night I went over to Theresa's and Steph came over and did all of our hair. I like it.. Tim doesn't.. not for sure how many people like it but it's either you love it or you hate it... there is no in between with this color.

ran 9 miles this week!

Yes, I have this plan of running my 3 miles at 5.5mph and I've actually gone up to 3 1/4 miles Wednesday at 5.5mph. I figured once that starts getting easy (ha!) then I can up that mph to 5.6 or 5.7 and take it from there. Yeah, so Mon/Wed/Fri this week I ran 3 miles each day totally 9 miles PLUS walking and other activities during the week. I have to start working on weight training!

Okay, the angels just HATE me I think..

I know this will take time to get down to 140, but the scale has not budged since I got back down to 144... this weekend is full with eating opportunities to the fullest... We have Dylan and Jake this weekend... Friday night running, then dinner, then off to pick the boys up (in the truck as requested by my son), then Saturday morning brunch with my sister, mom, and some of my sister's nursing school friends in celebration of her new found independence, then probably lunch with the boys, plus going to a party at Steph's house in Wonder Lake so whatever I bring to that... Sunday Puppy Play date in Chicago that I *might* go to, then I have off all week. Friday is my first Thanksgiving, then Saturday our 2nd thanksgiving with Tim's family, so my WW week is really messed up. I'll try to be as good as I can be, but it won't be easy! So another month between to work hard on losing, Christmas shopping, and preparing for the rest of the holidays.. and the angels just hate me.

BEFORE HE CHEATS

My sisters divorce was final as of yesterday... she has taken our maiden name back so we are both officially as our birth certificates read! I love it. When she said her name out loud "I'm Wendy B again" I said "hey I remember her"

Anyway.. it's still sad that my now balls stapled to the wall ex brother in law had to pull all the bs on her, and lord knows he could have brought any f'in disease back that could have killed my sister.... but it's still a sad situation. I don't like to see my sister in the dumps and even worse at the hands of the person she adored the most in the world.

As her divorce proceedings began I named Keith Urban's song "you'll think of me" as her them song, but now that the divorce is final.. I'm naming BEFORE HE CHEATS by Carrie Underwood her new theme song.. of course along with the all time WOMAN'S national anthem... I WILL SURVIVE!

Wendy is officially divorced!

WHOO-HOO PARTY PARTY PARTY! The dreaded divorce is done, she had court this am and it's over done. Thank god.. now we can move on to other crazy family mis haps! lol!

"it's about touching lives"

so here it is.. Saturday morning... the night after I had salty food at a pampered chef party, followed by taco bell... didn't drink/eat at the bar, but I weighed in a a few lbs less than I was last month, so I'm good with that. So the meeting hadn't begun yet and I went up front to grab another meeting schedule so I'd have one for my little weigh in book to keep handy. I walk up front and the lady who works there that Carolyn and I have always thought was bitchy (but really just has a dry sense of humor) is talking to this little girl. She was probably between 10-12 years old, overweight, and crying. She was telling the little girl that the hardest part of doing WW and losing weigh is walking in that door and she did it. I wanted so badly to walk up to the little girl and tell her about all the years of struggle I've gone through with my weight and if I had started at her age when the problem started that life would have been much easier for me. I didn't want to ruin the attention that the WW lady had with the little girl and she had already said the best thing she could have said to her, so I left at that. The little girl and her mom stayed for the meeting so I tried my best to make the meeting sound fun and upbeat, adding tons of comments here and there, etc. When I got up to leave, the little girl and mom were sitting behind me and staying for the "beginners" after meeting and I again really wanted to say something, but the little girl had her head down. I know exactly how she was feeling, but I know in a few weeks that head will come up as those lbs start shedding themselves. She will be leading a much healthier happier life in just a few weeks time. I hope to see that little girl again at the meetings. I went up front to buy the measured serving spoons I had wanted for awhile and I stood in line to pay with the lady who had been talking to the little girl and I told her what an awesome thing she had done for that little girl. She actually smiled at me and said "thank you, it's not about the paycheck, it's about touching lives" and she really did her "duty" today! As I was driving home it made me think about how I've said and others have told me I'd make a great WW leader. I had said a few times that if I was going to do it, I wanted to wait a full year past my "lifetime" status date. Well that date is approaching in about 4 months, so the next time I get that little flyer about WW employee information, I'll definately be at that meeting because after all.. "it's about touching lives"

random emails....

from my sister.. subject line: JUST MY LUCK

I was driving by a church today and I saw two Hearses parked in front. I thought - Oh My what a tragedy, two lives lost. I wonder what happened?
As I drove a little closer I saw, No, two lives were not lost, one Hearse was broken down with the hood up. And I thought, you know that would be just my luck. You're dead, it's the last trip you are making on earth, all you want is to be laid to rest, and the damn Hearse BREAKS DOWN!!!!

I wonder if the deceased was one of those people who is ALWAYS late for everything?
That would be hilarious!

from my neighbor Pam after I had a cr@p @zz day yesterday.. LONG STORY THERE

Melissa, you are very motivating. In general, I think you're just a
very positive, happy, friendly person! You are the life of our
neighborhood and the website. You are good at helping people to feel
good about themselves. You also have a knack for getting folks
involved.

I know I'm not as "into" things as you are, but considering the fact
that before I met you and Carolyn, I did NO exercise at all, did
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about my weight gains, and in fact just sat around my
house feeling depressed and miserable (partly chemical issues (dumb
brain), partly self pity, and partly bad habits), you have helped me a
lot. I'm exercising some, made new friends, realized I CAN lose weight
if I try, my house is getting cleaned up, I've had people over, I've
gotten out to more neighborhood get-togethers, and I'm not feeling like
I'd like to sleep and sleep and sleep!!! So, thank you to Melissa
especially, but also Carolyn, Pat and Julie!!!! (Also anti-depressants,
therapy, and an awesome mom.)

I don't always have time to respond to your email, but I do read it.
Even though I don't get out walking as much as I'd like or should, it is
so nice knowing you're all there for me and would help me out in any way
if I asked for it.

finally 3 miles @ 5.5mph & still no angels singing at 140lbs

Ughh it's taken me since July 20th to get here, but last night I finally did it! yahhh whoo.. Now I think I'll do 3 miles for a couple weeks at 5.5 until it gets easy and just up it 1 at a time until I get up. I can do a 1/4 a mile at 6 mph but that's it.. I'm done. something more to keep working on.

As far as the angels singing at 140lbs.. still not happening. I got really close near my birthday and then just blew it. I'm back journaling and everything so we'll see what the scale says later this week.

OH WHAT A NIGHT!

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back in the groove

and feeling great! I've been journaling, running, walking, and I made it through Halloween without eating ANY yes I said ANY Halloween candy. I did start making these great 1 pt peanut butter cups that are soooo yummy! I'm back down to 144 nekkid on my home scale, so to me that's great. I'm getting really anxious about the holidays but I'm making plans so I can control myself this year... let's just hope I can follow through!

Have a great weekend planned! Tonight walking, then Dylan is being dropped off and we're having spaghetti with garlic bread for dinner. I'm weighing in tomorrow morning as long as I don't gain because of TOM starting Monday. Going to lunch with Mac, Jennifer, Jessica for my birthday at SWEET TOMATOES baby, then later going to meet up at Cubby Bear for drinks with some old friends. Sunday is Adam's birthday party and football! Sounds like a yummy weekend to me!

up UP & AWAY...

ughh my 30th birthday totally fucked me.. really it did.. I gained back a ton of weight, I can't even say how much for sure becuase I was down to 141 on my scale at home (nekkid in the morning) and I weighed in last Monday the 23rd and was up to 151.4... only .6 of a lb away from having to pay. I *was* thinking about going that night.. GOOD THING I DIDN'T... geez.. so back on the wagon I got and the scale has been creeping down s-l-o-w-l-y! ughh totally frusterating. I didn't weigh in Saturday morning because I had eaten bad on Friday night so we'll see what next Saturday morning brings.. ughh not so good either, considering I'll be getting my period that week.. well anyway.. I'm back on the wagon and planning my way through the holidays...

new slide show.. me & my honey...

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running with my son

I took Thurs/Fri off last week and Mon/Tue off this week to hang out with Dylan because he is off of school. I planned his catscan & braces appts but I really wanted to just hang out with him. As always we really haven't done much. Yesterday we went to a movie, made his fav chicken parm for dinner, then went to the gym together. As we were on the treadmills running together I realized I never really worked out with my parents. I think I'm making some changes for him by working out with him.

back to the freakin drawing board.....

Okay not fun... a month ago exactly today I weighed in at 144 fully clothed etc at WW.. yeah umm today... 151.4! I would have had to pay if I had been 152, there goes my little cushion straight to hell in a handbasket because of my freakin 30th birthday! yikes.. turning 30 sucks! lol! Nahhh turning 30 was cool, Timmy threw me a surprise party for family/friends which got wrecked EXACTLY 24 hours before the party... one of Tim's (now) ex-buddies called me to ask why I was ticked at him and why he didn't get an invite to my birthday party.. f'in ass!

Heather, here is the PORSCHE 1978 928