Why breast milk supply issues are mostly total BS in my eyes.

Ok.. this is copy/pasted from a comment I left on my cousin's FB wall today in response to something mentioned about supply issues. I feel most women's supply issues are a product of todays American society and the push of pacifiers and bottles (even bottles filled with breastmilk). I think if women would search for answers, do their research they would see if they would stick with what nature gave them (their baby and their boobs) they would figure out a way of making it work.

supply issues? none of us would be here if there were REAL supply issues.. it's all in modern bs... new borns by nature should suck I think it's 20 hours per day (I'll have to look this up again) this doesn't mean EATING 20 hours per day, ...this also means pacifying themselves at the breast.. this in itself helps boost milk supply from the get go.. in the US we call this "cluster feeding" however if one would do some research, they would learn that a normal baby feeding should take between 60-90 minutes and would repeat itself every 2 hours.. meaning if you nursed for 90 minutes (that includes the baby just pacifying maybe even sleeping during that time) it would start all over 30 minutes later. So not giving pacifiers (called dummies in other countries I feel for a reason) as a #1 rule would cut back on women having issues with their milk supply.

Not giving bottles for any reason the first weeks of life would also help the situation considering babies aren't stupid. They realize it's much easier to get milk out of a bottle, why would they want the breast after that?

New moms need to realize that bf babies don't get the same oz of liquid as formula fed babies so when you PUMP and see that you are only getting 1oz-2oz out of each breast THAT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL!! Ask yourself, is your baby wetting/dirtying at least 6-8 diapers per day? Then you are fine.

Also my milk did not come in for 4 full days. My baby LIVED, amazing huh? She wasn't hungry.. I've even heard of babies going 7 days waiting for the milk supply.. so mama's who are told or feel they aren't making enough for the baby the first couple days of life ~ colostrum has wayyyy more calories than milk, things are fine.. this is how it works!

Olivia was a slow gainer, so even though she was bfed and didn't gain back her weight until almost 4 weeks of age, she was bfing like a champ and is now gaining 6-8oz per week.. again.. every baby is different.

Sighhhh I'm so sick of hearing women say they didn't have enough supply.. either they did something to eff up their supply or they don't know the facts. Olivia and I had many hurdles including:

1. her short tongue. she had to have her tongue clipped at 48 hours. Most peds will not do this, I had to find an old school ped that would even do it. it took all of 2 seconds, there was no pain, she cried only because people were holding her head and a second later she was at the breast eating and cooing.

2. My short nipples ~ nothing I can do for those other than wearing nipple shields to help draw them out some. BUT the baby has no idea how long a nipple should be so this stopping women from bfing is BIG BS.

3. Her high roof mouth ~ again nothing I can do for this, she eventually learned on her own to work around this. I feel that the reason she wasn't gaining the first 4 weeks of life was because of her inability to transfer milk. As I said, babies/nature are/is smart.

4. How you bf ~ not ONE person told me that I had to be comfortable. I tried the boppy and the baby would roll into the hole between me and the pillow.. totally impossible for me. sitting up in bed, really uncomfortable. Then I was lent a "My breast friend" pillow which is sturdier and that helped tremendously but it was still hard to bf in bed. One day I decided to try bfing sitting on my comfy sofa.. what do you know IT WORKED! Funny how me kicking back relaxing was the ticket to my baby latching easily and my back not hurting. I find to this day trying to bf in a straight chair is impossilble for me. I can do it, she needs to eat, but then I suffer later. If you contiuously are uncomfortable bfing, why would anyone continue. GET COMFY!! Find the pillow(s) that work for you. Boppy didn't work for me SO EFFING WHAT, they might work for you!

Olivia Nicole has FINALLY arrived!!

Everyone wants to read the labor story, so here it is!!

Olivia Nicole Pelletier 6/28/2010 7:55am 8lbs 10oz 22" long

Sunday June 27th Tim, Dylan and I decided to go hide for the day at the movie theater movie hopping.. we went to see one movie together then broke up and the boys went to see one movie and I went to another on my own. When we left something stupid happened and of course being overly pregnant and sensitive I started crying. Dylan and Tim were both trying to comfort me and we decided to go to an early dinner.

IN the back of my mind I had heard having a good cry started labor so I decided not to worry about crying and let it all go. I cried through dinner at the restaurant, I'm sure Tim & Dylan were thrilled but other people around us managed to ignore me which I was grateful for.

So we got home and I just was feeling cruddy from crying so I went to lay down and Tim's parents came over (they had just driven in from Arizona for a visit). Around 7:30 I finally went out for a walk with the dog and ran into some neighbors who wanted to talk.. While on my walk with Blue I started having some contractions that actually hurt. Then once I got home I was talking to Tim's mom and noticed the contractions stayed going and were strong, but were not consistent.

As soon as they left Tim & I went back out for another walk, hoping to keep the contractions going. Once we got walking they stayed but were all over the place.. one minute apart, 4 minutes, 7 minutes.. this continued after we got home. I called my mom just to tell her and started logging the contractions but they were still 4 minutes apart then 11 minutes, all over the place and obviously false labor. I finally fell asleep around 12:30 and woke up to a few contractions over the next couple hours.

At 3:50 am I woke up to the worst contraction yet, I was screaming and Tim was fumbling all over the bed to try to find me to figure out what was going on. He managed to find my hand just as I felt a POP and felt a major gush and I was yelling "oohh my god" and Tim was all "whhahhht is going on"? I got up to go to the bathroom and sure enough more clear amniotic fluid came gushing out. I grabbed a towel and laid it out in the middle of the loft, took off my night shirt and was on all fours yelling for Tim to get my phone and was dialing my mom. I was on the phone with my mom and got back up because I thought I had to go to potty again and was on the phone screaming bloody murder with my parents listening on the other end (I heard later my mom had the phone on speaker so my dad heard the whole commotion).

My parents got in the car right away and I called my midwife who sent the nurse over. The nurse came over rather quickly, it seemed like no time had passed but in that time Tim was busy setting up the birthing tub and trying to help me the best he could. The nurse Karen was the first to arrive and she got to the top of the stairs and here I am naked on all fours on a towel in the middle of a contraction. All she could say is "oohhhh sweeeeetie" and she dropped her bag and was at my side. Karen became the only person that I wound up listening to and focusing on throughout the labor, not sure why but even when my midwife would say something for some reason I couldn't process it unless Karen repeated it or touched me.

My parents showed up next, my dad came to get the dog which luckily Blue didn't put up a fight. From the second I popped out of bed screaming to hours after the birth I couldn't figure out where the dog had gone. I felt really bad because I must have scared the devil out of Blue. My dad assures me that Blue was fine and continues to do fine over at his house although the first day was a little rough for him.

So now my mom is there so she is running around trying to get pots of water boiling for the tub, the tub is now mostly filled and I'm getting in but it's too cold to birth the baby in. The nurse checked me and I'm dilated to 8, never heard how effaced I was but to me I was so glad that I wasn't the girl who cried wolf. For all the pain I was in I was worried that the nurse would get there and I would only be dilated to 2 and still have a long painful labor ahead of me.

Time was all a blur for me, the next thing I know my midwife was here with her assistant Becky.. a house full of very supportive educated woman and my poor hubby trying his best to do everything that needed to be done. I had everything very organized in preparation for the birth but of course while I'm in labor people are asking where this or that is and I'm all frustrated growling that "IT'S ALL HERE, UNDER THE TABLE, IN THE BIN" etc pointing towards rooms/areas where I had the supplies.

I was in the tub laboring, trying not to tense up and every contraction I would just put my hand outstretched (a trick I'd learned from my cousin to keep relaxed) on the outside of the tub. Funny enough I had just been reading BREAKING DAWN (the last Twilight book) that day and was reading the part about Bella burning. The words "it felt like I'd gone from being tied to the stake as I burned, to gripping that stake to hold myself in the fire" kept recycling in my mind. The pain was what it should be, my body was doing it's work and the pain was bringing me closer and closer to holding my precious baby safely in my arms. Karen would put her hand loosely on top of mine and talk me through the contraction, breathing and telling me my body was doing it's job. That's all I needed to hear to keep focused.

Eventually Debbie my midwife wanted to check me and she said right away that my cervix had a lip so she wanted me to get out of the tub to have it pushed back. Once out of the tub I was still laboring and did start pushing but that darn lip kept coming back.

Later I heard that I had pushed Olivia's head really far out 5 times in a row and I kept stopping short and she would slide right back in. At some point Debbie was telling me to push past the "ring of fire" and I wasn't there yet. I thought I was only thinking I wasn't there yet, but my mom told me that I actually did say it out loud. Pushing on the floor outside the tub on the floor wasn't working and my midwife suggested we move. Luckily Tim & I think Becky (the midwife assistant) had gotten the bed ready in a short amount of time and in bed I climbed. I didn't like laying down to push, so then I was on all fours in bed.. that wasn't working and I wound up on my right side with Tim behind me and my mom standing behind the bed behind Tim. Debbie was still holding that lip of my cervix trying to guide me where to push and Becky & Karen were holding my legs in place and verbally walking me through the birth.

Eventually I could feel her moving down and from what my mom said I actually said this out loud, but I do not remember actually saying that out loud either. Once I got her head out I was breathing in a hyperventilating type fashion and all I was saying was "okay okay okay okay okay okay" or something like that just trying to focus. I had to get the shoulders out and Debbie was down there trying to get them out and the next thing I felt was a huge gush of relief. I looked down and she was out on the bed, Debbie, Becky, and Karen were scrambling to clean her up a little, look at her, and get her to my chest.

Tim was behind me crying, my mom was crying and babbling, and all the ladies were cooing over how beautiful she was. Funny thing was, I never stopped myself in that minute as I normally do to breath in and out and really etch that moment into my memory. I did that with Dylan's birth and with some other major times in my life where I wanted to remember everything as it was happening around me. I didn't do that but I don't think I'll forget.

A few things that I didn't fit into the story. Any noise that diverted my attention REALLY ticked me off during the labor. At one point my mom was making coffee downstairs, and her coffee maker has a grinder on it (I don't drink coffee so my mom had to bring her own supplies for everyone). I was yelling down the stairs to "SHUT THAT FUCKING NOISE UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW" or some such shit.

Also, Tim was behind me on the floor next to the tub and he kept trying to get behind me to support me but I was just REALLY uncomfortable no matter what position I was in and didn't want to be moved or touched. At one point again a noise that diverted my attention annoyed the hell out of me, it was Tim's breathing in my ear. So I waved my arm to get him away from me and smacked him in the face.. ooops.. I heard later my midwife said that she had never felt so sorry for a husband in a homebirth situation because I wouldn't allow him to help at any time. Tim really thinks it's because I was transitioning already when I was awoken in major pain so we never had the time to labor together and for him to figure out what I liked and didn't like. Of course, it didn't help either that he had to be running around setting things up and once Karen got here and I focused on her there was no breaking through my mental blockage for anyone else.

Another noise that was annoying to me was the birds outside.. they were going from the time I walked in the loft to labor until I'm sure after the birth. As with Dylan's birth I kept thinking "once the sun comes up this will be over" so in my head I could have this birth done and over with by 7:02 am (the time of Dylan's birth). Once we moved into my bedroom I had my eye on two clocks and we passed 7am and I wasn't happy that she wasn't out yet. Once she was born I heard 3 different times she was born and realized it was because the two clocks are a few minutes apart. Everyone agreed she was born at 7:55am in the end.

In closing I have to say that this homebirth has completed something for me I wanted to do in my life. Part of my bucket list if you will??? Something I always said "if I ever get pregnant again this is how I want it". I didn't get my tub birth, but I got my home birth. I never imagined I'd deliver in my bed, but now I realize it was HER BIRTH and in the end I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

My worst nightmare of one driving, one in diapers has become what makes my heart beat every minute of every day and what NOW completes my world...

"I GAVE BIRTH AT HOME. NOT BRAVE. NOT CRAZY. JUST EDUCATED" ~ AUTHOR UNKNOWN

pushing 40 weeks

Well here I am just 2 days to my due date.. I'm in new territory a place I've never been which is any days past 36 weeks pregnant. Things have continued to be great, I've had no major issues. I had some sciatica pain for about 2 weeks which stopped just 3 days shy of my first chiropractor adjustment.. oh well.. I needed to go to the chriro because the baby was posterior and I needed her to spin into position. She has spun perfectly and now waits for birth ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE COUNTRY or so it seems. I did have to leave work a week ago because my BP shot up just enough to make my midwife (and me) nervous. It's lower now, but I'm working on keeping it low. Tim & Dylan are off at the Scottish games this week/weekend so I sit and bake away.

SMILE!

HERE SHE IS AT 29 WEEKS!!


This weekend is my shower.. so weird because I hit the 3rd trimester like a freakin Mack Truck! geez.. I can't breathe, I waddle more, I'm hungrier, I feel tired more often and my ankles are always just a tad swollen! lol! I feel fine but I can tell I'm finally "feeling" pregnant! :) Just 10 more weeks.

BLOCKS of time

This entire pregnancy has looped around blocks of time. everything has been measured in blocks. the first few weeks after I found out I was preggers I just couldn't wait for this baby to be here, so I could meet her, raise her, and send her into the world as fast as possible. I kept thinking to myself "just get me to Thanksgiving" and then later "just get me to Christmas and then once New Years comes time will go faster"... sure enough my next time I was looking for past New Years was our trip to Cozumel. Tim's grandma got sick and 2 weeks slid by rather quickly and we were sitting at the airport waiting for our flight before I knew it.. and back even faster.. a week gone. a trip to the ER the next day some grocery shopping and we were back to work and into February already. Crazy stuff at work and March approached and each ultrasound or midwife appointment would be a next "just get me to" day. Well here I sit upon another one of those days "just get me to March 27th" it was going to be an u/s day but that fell through, but the other exciting part of the day is I'm putting my son on a plane to AZ for his spring break. His spring break is an interesting one because he'll spend 2 days in AZ and the rest of the days driving his car back home to Chicago. He should be sliding in on April fools day just in time for my next "just get me to" day.. his 16TH BIRTHDAY!! He'll also be bringing home my puppino!!! My little Blue man has been another part of my blocks fo time. My pregnancy has been split up perfectly by his vacation. The first 3 months he was home, the second trimester with the snow blowing and me afraid of every piece of ice he was out in Arizona with my dad soaking up the sun, and now my last trimester he'll come back to get me back out in the sunshine walking around our neighborhood. I can't believe he'll be back in 9 days!! I kept thinking "once he comes back I'll have a great big belly"!! Also, the days getting shorter and now longer has been another block of time for me. I keep thinking once we get to the longest day of the year, my favorite day of the year June 21st I'll be past my due date. sighhhhhh it's all coming together.

On another note, I have to say has been very strange.. I don't want to say these things out loud because I'm sure once I type them out all these things will happen within the next 24 hours. I haven't been sick, I have had no leg cramps in the middle of the night, I've had very little heartburn, and I only puked on the boat in Cozumel. It's been pretty good.. even though I dream of being the preggers girl who sits with a huge bucket of ice cream on my big belly, gaining 100lbs during my pregnancy instead I'm the girl who lost 20lbs and only gained back 14lbs during my first pregnancy and this pregnancy I lost 16 lbs and only have gained back roughly 9lbs. There really hasn't been a day I haven't been super happy, haven't felt great, or really even had just a "rough" day. But like I said, mark my words.. tomorrow this will all change..

Tomorrow is my Gestational Diabetes test.. sigh. I have 4 out of 5 factors of the ladies that get GD. I'm over 30, I have PCOS, my dad is a diabetic and I was overweight when I got pregnant (still am). I'm doing the best I can with my Bradley/Brewer diet, swimming/walking as much as possible. I've been reading that Fish Oil helps stabilize blood sugar and I take my awesome Carlson Labs fish oil every day. Stay tuned...

St Paddy's day!! 26 weeks 3 days

The TAMPONS that taunt me!

YES you read that right.. I have tampons that make fun of me... and they are everywhere. Somehow the tampon I had grabbed the last morning before I found out I was preggers still sits on the back of the toilet in the ladies washroom at my work. I'm sure I could move it anytime I wanted, but I don't.. I'm lazy like that.. I open my top desk drawer (a drawer I rarely use) and 2 sit right on top. I switch purses and each time I find a stash inside. I started going to the pool this week and dug out my old gym bag to use for my swim suit and towel.. yup found some in the pockets. I go to clean out my cabinet under the sink and the monster box I bought that I still keep and restock just stares at me. Open any of the glove boxes or cubbies in my car, my husbands car, and probably the Porsche.. you'll find at least one.. yes, they laugh at me.. but my glorious retort is something to the tune of "I haven't needed you for x months and won't need you for another x months.. have fun hanging out waiting for me!"

SOMETIMES when life hands you lemons, it's because they were the missing ingredient!!

it's about wanting what you have and not wanting what you don't/can't have. I know my cousin has said it a million times, but after their daughter Iryna was born they wanted more kids because they couldn't imagine their lives without her and the joy she brings to their family. I've always felt that everyone was here for a reason, so I never doubted that when I found out about my unplanned pregnancy. The longer I've been preggers the more I've grown to love my little seed, the things I can already feel about her, the times she's already made me feel better, and the simple fact that she has changed my world already. So even though at first I was thinking about the lemons I can see that my gut reaction that she would either "make us or break us" has been proving to be positive.

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile.. a few pics of us...

22 weeks



I was 24 weeks in this pic, hanging out at Gaia's womb... a pic of Olivia's blessing..

the best part I got to share the blessing with Darcie who is also pregnant.. just a few weeks behind me! totally amazing.

25 week ultrasound.. sleeping...

COZUMEL ~ BABYMOON

Sorry to post and run.. BUT Tim hurt himself on our trip so I have to take him to the ER.. if you are curious about our trip read on...



Happy babymoon to you..
Happy babymoon to you…. Hmmmm but of course.. nothing can ever start as smoothly as we would like. Tuesday night Tim’s grandma Ruth passed away after a 8 day battle, the wake scheduled for Friday night and the funeral for Saturday (today the day we are leaving to go to Cozumel for our babymoon). Due to timing of course we couldn’t go to both. Sooooooooooooooo our limo arrives, we get to the airport a half hour earlier than scheduled.. we get in a HUGE long line and wait.. and wait… and wait… we get our seats and head to the food court thinking it will be a fast meal and then waiting at security.. we get through security and find our gate and sit and sit.. boarding time comes and goes.. comes and goes.. I go to the bathroom and come back and Tim announces.. “GUESS WHAT” ….. GROAN… “just GUESS” so I guess.. we are delayed for a cracked windshield.. if this is an omen of what’s to come I’m not sure if I’m happy or not. Last trip to AZ with the dog and kids we were delayed at the gate for 4 hours for the same thing with 3 kids and a dog.. sigh.. not fun. That trip was not fun and it started that bad. So again.. here we sit.. waiting.. waiting… waiting… sigh.

FIRST FULL DAY IN COZUMEL
Well first I’ll start with the rest of last night. Our plane finally left around 8pm only 3 hours late, the pilot said that he could make up a half hour so our flight would be 3 hours 20 minutes.. they offered a free movie, of course one I’d already seen… THE PROPOSAL.. oh well. I guess normally there is NO MOVIE so we were supposed to be happy.. after the broken windshield the mechanics couldn’t get the film off the new windshield because of the cold. Then during the safety check there was a malfunction with the landing gear.. great JUST GREAT.. then we had to wait for awhile to get a spot to take off.. after taxing out we finally took off very smoothly… about half way through the movie they stopped it to ask if anyone was onboard that was a doctor or nurse.. UMM REALLY.. someone was having a heart attack on our plane!! As soon as this happened the pilot dropped the plane as if descending, they got everything under control and we finally made it to Cozumel around 11:30pm. We got off the plane and scurried inside to get through the endless line at customs all along the way “Carlos” our guide yelling at us that we were all “doing it wrong”. Yeah the flight attendants had given us wrong information that if we made a mistake we could cross it out.. oh well.. So finally we get through, get our bags and go through the safety check. Tim and I pressed the red button and neither of us were chosen for the random check. Whoooo let’s go.. outside we were greeted by our Apple reps and found our buses and loaded. 10 minutes later we took off and 20 minutes later we made it to the hotel. We get our room only to find they gave us 2 double size beds instead of a king.. but again this is an apple issue with booking on line.. they never give you that option and in the past we’ve always been able to pick once we got to the resort.. I was SERIOUSLY hungry and asked if there was any food being served at a bar and the desk clerk said no.. we went to our room and opened some snacks intended for the flight home and drank some bottled water and went to bed.
Sighhhh.. our beds.. I think sleeping on concrete would actually be more comfortable.. seriously this is how bad the beds are here.. I wake up every hour or so because my entire side of my body is asleep.. UMM HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? I’ve been a side sleeper my entire life and here I am having to wake up to flip over because everything on one side is asleep.. sigh.. is it the pregnant body or the beds? I think the beds.
So after our first pretty unrestful night Tim and I woke up, took quick showers (there is no hot water in our room) and go to breakfast.. of course I can’t find anything I like so I’m just going up to the buffet and grabbing anything because I’m hungry. We ate then went to our Apple welcoming meeting. Of course, many other people had some major complaints about this resort.. it’s not what we are used to for sure but you get what you pay for and in the past we’ve been pretty lucky.. not that it’s a bad resort but they gave many people double rooms instead of kings and other people have complained about everything from “disgustingly dirty rooms” to “recycled food” which is true.. they bring things from the lunch over to the dinner so you are constantly eating the same basic foods.
After lunch we came back to the room because I was just exhausted.. who knows why.. but I was. I fell asleep about 2 minutes after I realized Tim was asleep but I woke up maybe an hour later and watched some TV. Luckily there are 2 English channels. Tim slept until 5pm and there was no way I was waking him up.. he was actually snoring at some points which means he was OUT. He must have needed it.
We woke up and went to dinner and then I grabbed a book and hung out in the lobby to start reading and Tim headed to the bar with some people we had met to drink. We met a ton of people from the Chicago/Illinois area but then also Wisconsin and Canada. It’s been fun so far, no swimming or normal Mexico activity.. I do have to say that every person I ask for milk has questioned me on it like “whyyyy milk” one waiter actually told me “sorry my cow has the day off” lol!
Tim and I found a ton of little creatures all over the resort. Lots of iguanas, and gecko looking creatures along with birds and butterflies. Tim likes the hummingbirds because even though they are so small they seem to stand still because they move sooo fast you can hardly see them move. I’m already well into my Nicholas Sparks book A Bend in the Road. It’s amazing so far.
It’s 11:30pm and of course I’m exhausted so I’m logging off.. hopefully I’ll be able to post these blogs soon. There is no office here, or free internet even for a few minutes each day. We have to buy an internet card so I think I’ll wait until I’m desperate! Lol! 

FULL 2ND DAY
Here we are.. not much to report about today.. I was feeling much better. I think yesterday I was dehydrated because today I felt very pregnant looking even though I didn’t look any bigger than I looked the day before. Strange. The baby is full Olympics mode.. today was use of the umbilical cord as uneven bars as I sat by the pool reading. I just finished The Bend in the Road and have started the THE LOVELY BONES. So far so good. I’m so glad to just be reading but I know it’s bugging Tim because all he wants me to do is sit with him and everyone else at the bar.

Tim got pretty blized this afternoon.. he sat at the swim up bar all afternoon with some of the people we met and came back just in time to go meet our Apple rep to make a reservation to go on an excursion on Wednesday. I’ll have to post more about that later.
Going to get back to my book and maybe a movie.. not super tired today but I don’t want to over do it either. It was still a busy day even though we just hung out at the pool! 
WEDNESDAY
This is the first and only excursion we decided to take off the resort… and now I remember why.. my vacation castapo husband always wants to plan each minute of each vacation with an itinerary and wants to get each of these things done. Tuesday we laid low and just hung out. I actually managed to sneak a nap in the afternoon, not long.. but enough. We had dinner at the Chinese restaurant here in the hotel. You can only book two nights at the specialty restaurants here so we figured we would try it.. it was the best meal we’ve had since we have been here. After that we went back to our room and watched a movie and went to bed early. We had to be up early for our wonderful adventure today.. yeah soooo around 2am I woke Tim up to make sure that it wasn’t past 6am and that our wake up call hadn’t been missed. From then on neither one of us got much sleep… sigh.. oh well.. 5:15am the phone rings and our adventure begins.
I wanted to stop in for a quick breakfast at 6am which the front desk clearly states continental breakfast starts at 6am.. we got there at 6am sharp and got yelled at AFTER we got our food for being early.. hmm whatever.. we ate and hurried to get our taxi.. off we went towards the ferry that would take us over to Playa Del Carmen. We got there in 15 minutes.. our apple rep had told us it would take longer so there we sat waiting for the 7am ferry. We got on board and Tim wanted to go upstairs so we could sit outside but I was freezing and wanted to sit inside… sigh.. that’s where the fun ENDED for me. About 9 minutes into the 30 minute cruise over to the main land I got sick.. and sick again, and sick again… so here I am yaking in a garbage can and feeling miserable.. we docked then off to our taxi.. got the taxi that took us to our bus that took us to like 3 other resorts and met up with several other vans to pick up more people. It was totally crazy.. we stopped at some roadside store to use the bathrooms and shop. I managed to get some cookies and a banana to stay down.
Off to Chichen Itza.. yeah one of the 7 wonders of the world and I was MISERABLE! I was super weak, had a major headache, felt seasick even after the 3 hour bus ride and was out in the sun listening to this tour guide talk and talk about nothing in particular that interested me. I decided to high tail it back to the trees where they had some benches and wait for Tim while he finished his tour. I met up with some other ladies who didn’t want to be there either and we chatted while we wait for the 3 hour tour to be done (yes it was a 3 hour tour and they came back).
The next part was actually fun.. a 5 minute ride to this amazing Mexican restaurant. Their fried beans were BLUE and amazing!!! Between that and the Squirt soda I drank half of, my stomach and full body felt MUCH BETTER. Finally off to IK KIL to swim.. of course it was so packed only Tim wound up swimming there.. hopefully I can load some pics of this part.. it was amazing and I was actually starting to enjoy myself.. we got a few ok pics of us throughout the day.
Finally back on the bus SIGH. So we got done eating at 3:30pm so the Apple rep told us we would be back on the resort by 7:30-8pm.. so I’m thinking.. ok I should have at least 2-3 hours to digest.. umm yeah.. we left the water hole at 4:24 and didn’t get on the ferry until 8pm.. sooooo at least I had 4 ½ hours to digest before the boat ride back to Cozumel. We carefully picked our seat on the boat on the lower deck in the middle near the back over the engine. I had Tim talk the whole way home which he struggled with but managed. We got back to the dock and I had not thrown up once WHOOO HOOOO!! I was very excited.. found a taxi and got back to the resort with just 20 minutes to grab some dinner before they closed. I immediately felt sick when we sat at the table like we were still moving so the only things that stayed down was ice cream and bean salad.. oh well.. such is life.
I’m exhausted to I’m going to watch the rest of the movie I missed last night and settle in for the night.. it is 10:15!!! Yikes.. long day.

LAST DAYS
Well.. the time has come.. it’s Friday night and we leave tomorrow evening.. strange thing is they’ll let us stay until 7pm on the resort and keep our wrist bands to eat/drink all day.. but we have to check out of our rooms at noon. I guess we’ll get a hospitality room later in the day to shower and change clothes before our trip but I have no clue how it will work with our beach towel cards and our baggage will be in a locked room.. hmm we’ll see.
Last night and tonight we went to the show here… sigh.. nothing great I have to say at least it’s something but I’ve seen better grade school talent shows in my lifetime. Each night has the same dancers as the night before just different music and costumes. Not one dance has yet to NOT HAVE a wardrobe malfunction. Tonight was really great because one of the dancers made Tim come up on stage and dance with her.. ha ha!! He doesn’t dance but he played nice and went up there.. luckily they brought other people up there too and he was in the wayyyy back so all the pics I have are of other people and you can see Tim in the background.. of course I had no idea how to use the video feature on our camera which would have been useful.
What else.. hmmm? Not much else.. hung out at the beach today and then the pool.. then realized I had little critters literally crawling out of my swimsuit and a ton of sand in my suit so I finally left the pool to go shower. The amount of sand that can get caught in your suit never ceases to amaze me. Lol!
Ok so our adventure ends tomorrow.. I’m a bit sad because there are things we of course just never did and figured we’d have enough time.. oh well. Such is life. Never even made it to the front desk to get some internet time.. oh well.. it was expensive like $15 for 45 minutes or something.. ouch. We’ll see what we can squeeze in before our adventure home. I just can’t wait to get home to our bed!! 

HOMEWARD BOUND
Okay so here we are on the way back.. our trip back so far (crossing fingers) has been much less dramatic than the voyage to Cozumel.. so far our only snafu would have to be that security at the airport refused to talk to the ticket agents standing not more than 100 feet from where we stood in line because our tickets that were just given to us at the counter were not specific that we were flying from Cozumel to Chicago.. it just had a place for a destination no orgin.. ummm you don’t have this same flight same airline every week and see this every week?? Finally they let us through. Had time to shop at the airport but didn’t buy anything other than an apple.
Today at the resort we had our last breakfast and lunch, hung at the pool one last time and packed.. checked out at noon but didn’t have to leave until 7pm to catch our flight… so we checked out, then gave our bags to the bell boys who locked them up for us and just hung out.. then at 4pm we made an appointment to use a hospitality room and took a quick shower and then headed out for dinner.. We went to this great place just a few minutes drive from out resort. Yummy.
Not much else to report other than I’m super tired and can’t wait to get home!!

IT'S A GIRL!!

WHOOOO HOOO!! So at 10am we are pulling into the parking lot in front of the u/s place with my mom and sister and the place is calling me asking where we are. I explain we are parking in the "pay parking lot" and she says okay go to your left. umm ok towards the sprint store? no? I don't know where you are at.. freakin great.. turns out she wanted me to go to my OTHER left.. sigh.. I walked around one of the buildings and could see the address of the building we needed to go to. Sigh.. we get rushed in there, sign 2 papers and walk in to this HUGE room with leather couches and chairs. A table for kids to play at and 2 big flat screens for everyone to watch. So I get up on the bed, the lady puts a rather healthy helping of jelly on me and flips on the screen. Right off the bat she says "oh look it's head down" she flips the little doppler up on the top side of my belly and we are looking right at some spread eagle legs with 3 lines.. "THAT'S A GIRL!!" I say.... quiet. hmmm she keeps scanning trying to go around the 3 lines to see if a penis will pop out and nothing all the while I'm saying "that's a girl, it's a girl" and Tim finally shushhhed me. I think he was getting irritated at me, but nobody else was talking and of course I can't have a room of 7 people with nobody talking. Nobody else could see what I was looking at on the screen but I saw it. Finally the girl said "yup, 3 dots, 3 lines, that's all I'm seeing.. It's a girl"

I couldn't be more excited. Tim was very excited because we got to see her yawn and we got to see her long legs.. omgsh that girls legs spread from one side of my uterus to the other and Tim said a few times during the day "she's got really long legs" Also she has really long narrow feet like me.

Here is the first 3D pic of her.. it came out pretty blurry and she looks like a globby fish.. not much like a human. I swear on the 2D u/s you could see her already developed features.


the 2D picture isn't worth posting.. you can barely make out the 3 dots.. I was shocked she didn't print out the pics of the spread legs you could see perfectly.. oh well.

sooooo Tim's grandma is not doing very well.. in fact, with the way things run I'm sure she'll pass soon.. We found out Dylan was a boy at 20 week and at 21 weeks Dan's grandfather died.. we found out Saturday that Olivia was a girl, Tim's mom is in town.. things are just too perfect and she is ready to pass. I'm just hoping she goes with no pain and doesn't have to struggle. She is back in the hospital as of 2 hours ago and Dave/Jana are packing the car to get here as we speak. Grandma has been telling me since I announced that this baby was coming that she wouldn't live to see the baby. The fact that Olivia is due on her birthday has just been another reason for Grandma to keep reassuring me that she won't be here. It's sad but it's life. Somehow I feel that the guff is being recycled with souls when I'm pregnant.. because my child needs a soul someone must die in their place. Here I am, pregnant again waiting for a family members soul to be free to be used by my developing fetus. sigh.

The OMEN at 14 hours

Tim and I were waiting for Tim's parents to land in Chicago to see if they wanted to meet for dinner.. by the time they got the car and got their phones turned on it was after 6pm but they called and said they already had plans. Tim and I decided a half hour later to go to a place by my work called Dominicks, it's a restaurant not a grocery store. They have really great take out food and I know they have a small sit down area. It was packed but we quickly got a table. So we sit down and that's when it happened.. I GOT 2 UNBENT FORKS!! I can not tell you how long it's been since I've been at a restaurant that I've gotten 2 perfectly not even slightly bent forks. I've even blogged about it.. is this an omen? Is this saying life is finally going to be fair for me, I'll get my wish and get a girl?

The other thing that happened yesterday was I saw a tiny deer.. not a fawn but maybe an adolescent deer. Didn't stop in front of me, but I saw her, she saw me.

My mom finally had a dream that might be a sign it's a girl (not a boy as her first dream told her).

sooo now.. 13 hours and counting.

96 hours and counting....

It's officially 96 hours until I find out the sex of my baby growing inside of me. I can not wait... but then maybe I can.. I'm nervous about the possibility of this being a boy and our little name battle will officially begin. I shouldn't say that, in fact, it's already ON but the real battle will come on full force. So right now here is where we are stuck. The name Olivia Nicole came to me a few days after I found out I was pregges. Tim has said nothing other than he "likes" that name. He hasn't said he doesn't. He hasn't said we can't use it. His name is his grandfathers name Julian but he wasts to call the baby Jack. I know a few Julians all go by JJ or other nicknames and I really don't love that name. Further, I know several babies named Jack and it fits them but I don't want that name for my son.

Funny story.. yesterday we were on the phone fighting again over what sex the baby is. I said to Tim "it's 4pm and the baby JUST woke up, it's your kid for sure" he laughed and said "he was drunk, he was up all night drinking JACK DANIELS" ughhh so I said "you'll take what I give you" and he said "no you'll take what I've already given you" HMPHHHH CRAP! lol!

So I started thinking this morning about all the things that will happen in our lives before this baby is born. Where Dylan is concerned that's A LOT! In less than 3 months he'll have his drivers license. So at the end of March he's flying to AZ to drive his car back from the Mesa house to Chicago. He'll be with my mom and dad driving 2 separate cars, the mustang and the sebring.. sigh.. Dylan will finish sophomore year and be an offical Junior by June 20th. I'm sure he'll be trying to get a job as soon as he possibly can. I'll have one testing his independence and one testing her/his independence from my womb. It's going to be a strange but very exciting and happy time in our family.

and sooooo we wait.. 96 hours..

THE MIDDLE WIFE

I've seen this story before but Tim's aunt just sent it to me and I was LMAO!!
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant.. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,Oh,Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

How did ur SO find out u were preggers?

this was a topic on CAFEMOM. I'm going to copy my story here.

My first time around my BF was standing outside the bathroom waiting for me to come out then we had to stand for the full 3 minutes to get the results.. that was 16 years ago and planned...

THIS TIME.. ohh boy. I have PCOS so my periods are somewhat sporadic.. it's not uncommon for me to be 10 days late or more. This scares my husband more than anything in the world so now I've just settled for having a few extra pregnancy tests under the sink just to check and make sure. In October things were different.. my back was sore one day, my boobs were always tender.. and I kept teasing my hubbie that he "got me preggers".. he normally laughed and walked away.. when my period was 5 days late and making everyone else in my offices period late, we were all bouncing around ideas why they were late. We came up with the weather change.. umm ok.. so onthe way home that night I decided to stop at Walgreens and pick up a few tests because I was out. I figured I better check just to be sure. I got home and my husband is making dinner, only becasue he had a meeting to attend an hour later. So he's out back grilling and I figured I'd take a test really fast, get that done and move on with my life. This pregnancy was not planned, so I had every intention of it being negative like every other time in the last 13 years of my relationship to my hubbie. I peed on the stick, I'm pulling up my pants and trying to put the stick down on the counter and the plus sign is already showing up.. SHEEEEER PANIC! holy cow holy cow holy cow.

I wash my hands and watch the plus sign just get darker.. I'm shaking... I open the bathroom door and realize that there is about 20 steps between me and the sliding door to get outside to my husband and I actually didn't think I could make it that far. I get to the door and my husband is out in the yard.. so I open the door and step out and call him to me.. he starts walking towards me and I realize that our neighbors doors are all open (we live in townhomes). He gets to me and I said "we have to go inside" and he's mad "I have to cook dinner, I have a meeting to get to" NO JUST COME INSIDE WITH ME. geez. so he comes in and I thrust the test forward on the kitchen counter at him. He says "ohhhhh" THAT'S IT!

Our entire conversation was like this me "what are we going to do?" DH: "what do you want to do" ME: "I won't have an abortion" DH: "I wouldn't let you have one" DH then leaves the room to go get the chicken off the grill and I start crying my eyeballs out and call my mom. I was sooo scared and very angry. I've never not planned anything in my life. My mom got me calmed down, but it took her a full 2 hours. DH came home and skyped his parents in AZ (we live in Chicago) and told them.

I walked into work the next day and waited ohhhh exactly like 24 minutes before I was bursting at the seams to get it off my chest.. so I walked in my bosses office and asked her if she got her period and she said "yeah.. umm a couple days ago, why" ME: "ohh I was just going to tell you not to wait for me" and I burst into tears! lol! I'm such a dork! I know. lol!

BABYMOON!!

Tim and I have decided to take a vacation before the baby comes. We are looking at our usual applevactions.com for deals. Right now it looks like we'll be going to Cozumel which everyone has agreed is a great vacation place.

Still not feeling preggers and I just can't wait for Jan 16th for the 3D ultrasound. I just want to know what this baby is!!

Blue is leaving for AZ on the 1st of this year, we're bringing over to my parents house today (Christmas Eve). Poor little man. It's been icing out and he can't even walk to go potty, his legs slip out from under him and I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself.

I really haven't gained any weight back.. maybe a lb. that's about it for now.

The Bradley diet

so I'm on a modified diet called the Bradley diet. It was designed by a dr back in the 60's who put 7,000 women on this diet while they were pregnant and the results were amazing.. there was a super low rate of toxemia and other pregnancy complications. Of course, I'm trying to avoid toxemia and gestational diabetes so this is right up my alley. The diet basically says you have to eat 2 eggs a day and a quart of milk a day. I eat those 2 eggs, ready to throw up from the second I grab the fork to eat them. Ew. The milk.. well that's another story. I get at least 8 oz every morning on my way to work. I mix it with unsweetened cocoa in my little magic bullet blender and sip that on the way to work. It's a yummy sugar free drink. I eat yogurt and cheese throughout the day to get the rest of the dairy. I just can't stomach a glass of milk for some reason. Ohhh and chicken.. omgsh.. forget chicken! there was 2 weeks I was able to eat Jewel rotisserie chicken and I've been able to get chicken nuggets down but that's it. We can't make chicken at home.

As far as the whole craving thing.. I don't get them.. not even for sugar. It's amazing. I do ask for extra pickle on things.. but I've always done that. No change there. I just like pickle.

Other than that I'm pushing along. 14 weeks this Sunday. I found out that not only is Kim/Frank from SSL preggers but Susie/Erik is 4 weeks ahead of me and Kristie/Sean are 4 weeks behind me.. pretty cool to be the sandwich in between.

Also I had Heather/MIke due 10 days before me, Carrie/Gary 5 days before me, Angel/Dave 5 days after me, and Katie/Eric 4 weeks after me. Heather and Carrie miscarried which really stinks. I'm pretty upset about both of those considering I'll now feel like an ass any time I'm around them with my new baby. I can imagine they will be thinking of themselves should be holding their brand new babies as well.. sigh. total suckage.

I made my 3D ultrasound appt for Jan 16th to find out the sex. Tim's parents will be in town that weekend and we've asked them to come with us. It sounds pretty fun! lol!

Tim and I are planning a BABYMOON (as my sister told me it's called) our last trip before the baby is born. We'll be homebound for a few years so we figure this is the easiest way to get out while we can. We are looking at applevacations (as usual) specifically Mexico!! :)

Not much else going on.. I still don't feel preggers. Sometimes I feel the baby move a bit especially at night when I lay down to go to bed. Of course, Dylan's fav time to get up and party. lol! I'm still wearing my regular clothes. I got some belly bands yesterday. They are just strips of fabric that go around your midsection to hold up jeans if they are unbuttoned or to cover your belly when your shirt doesn't cover it.. and then later when breastfeeding it acts as a double so you can be more discreet while feeding the baby. Pretty neat stuff! :)

will I ever feel pregnant?

Ok so here I am pregnant. I found out around 6 weeks which has led me to feel like I've already been preggers forever. I'm down 15.8lbs because of cutting out junk/sugar/whites, exercising, and the baby metabolism. My jeans are still fitting, in fact there are days they are just too big. So far in this pregnancy I've had a few things that are different, from what I can remember. I am not throwing up, just sick to my stomach especially around certain foods. Eggs are my worst enemy I have to eat 2 a day and stomaching them some days is a CHORE in itself. It seems most days I make the best effort and still come up short on those. I haven't been tired getting out the shower. I know it's still very early, but I can remember showers just making me EXHAUSTED when I was pregnant with Dylan. I only get heartburn when I eat crap, white bread or sugar. With Dylan it was heartburn all the time but I was eating white bread and sugar.

Okay, I have to get to work so I better log off but....
I just have one question, how can water make someone feel sick? lol!!

Wow.. I've missed almost a year!!

Well, I've been blogging at my other blog but I gotta say that the biggest reason I've not blogged is plain and simple. I've been busy. Since going back to work a year ago I've been having issues finding time to fit things back into my life. I don't know why, but I just can't figure out how to work, grocery shop, make dinners, pay bills, etc.. I had to drop couponing for good, it's just too time consuming for me. But the biggest news has to got be that I'M PREGNANT!! 12 weeks exactly today, I'm due June 20th. A total shock, a total oops.. but I'm an oops baby and things seem to turn out pretty awesome with oops babies. At some point in time every mother figures out why they recieved the "oops" baby.. I really don't care, I want this baby and I know that Tim wanted kids. I knew someday he would be upset that he didn't have any babies of his own.. the thing is I said for YEARS I didn't want one driving and one in diapers.. and here we are.. one driving and one in diapers. sigh. Such is life. It's like someone was listening to that, be careful what you think or say out loud.

Anyway.. I've planned a homebirth but in order to keep my midwife and have a homebirth I have to make sure that this pregnancy stays a healthy pregnancy. No preeclampsia no gestational diabetes. So with this I am on a modified version of the Bradley diet. Basically sort of like Atkins. Protein 80-100mg per day, 2 eggs per day, 1 quart of milk per day, veggies, fruit, 1 grain per day.. anyway.. I had to cut out sugar, white bread, starchy veggies.. so I've lost 15.8lbs as of right now. With Dylan I lost 20lbs but I don't know how fast it happened. I was also very sick with Dylan throwing up all the time. I haven't yet thrown up with this baby but I'm being told my nausea and weight loss is part of the same morning sickness even if I'm not throwing up. Being pregnant raises your metabolism, cutting out sugar, and I'm working our more consistently so I guess the 15.8lbs makes sense HOWEVER I just found out that ketones are like poison for babies developing brains.. sigh. I can't win.

I'm also planning a water homebirth!! very very exciting to me anyway. happy sigh. so excited.

I have to go get some stuff done around the house so I'll leave you with our first glimpse of our new addition.. is it Olivia Nicole or Jack (Julian)??

We are waiting until mid January when Tim's parents come in for a visit to go get another ultrasound. We'll find out the sex then! :)

somewhere between the dream world, heaven, and our meeting place...

I have been dreaming of this same place.. over and over and over. Each time I dream about this place I add something to the detail of this place and remember it the next dream. It seems I've been dreaming about this place right before I wake up most mornings so maybe it's when I'm in the lightest part of REM or maybe half awake.. not exactly sure but let me explain this place.

First I'm in a huge flat piece of land. The sun is warm, the breeze is warm, the sky is perfect blue, there are trees sporatically placed. I think I'm walking through a field but there isn't grass at my feet only around the boarders of this area. Possibly an old farming field??? I'm always walking towards this steep grassy hill that resembles a grassy hill that used to take me to a retention pond at the end of my street growing up. Once you get to the top of the hill you could walk around the oval "bowl" or go down to the creeks edge. In the winters this was the most perfect place to sled because there were areas that were SUPER STEEP and others that were very gradual and the pond always froze over fast and you could sled out on top of the ice.

The first time I had a dream about this place I realized I was there with my grandma, but she wasn't there but I felt her all around me. The first dream there was no pond/water at the bottom of the bowl which I didn't realize until the next few dreams. The next dream I brought these wire/metal butterfly shapes for a project. I stuck them in the round in specific places. The next time I came back someone had planted little flowers in straight lines around the metal butterfly shapes I had stuck in the ground. One of the flowers there was Lilly of the Valley. Butterflys, Lilly of the Valley and about 4 songs represent my grandmother to me. Okay so I had this same dream today, this morning actually, and now someone has built little ponds in 4 separate rectangles around the plants and the metal butterfly shapes I had brought. It's like japanese garden style, very perfect, and I can hear water running as if there is a pump moving the water from one pond to the next.

Each time I walk through the field, then up the hill, then down into the bowl and around, back up the hill and I end the dream in the field. This morning I actually woke up mid dream and went back into it. It makes me wonder if that is when my grandma is with me watching me dream? are we meeting there? is it "her heaven"? is this my heaven? will I ever see her there or always just feel she is there?

This is just very surreal to me that I keep having this continuing dream. I've had dreams like this before where I dream the same thing over and over and it's like deja vu but now I'm adding things to the dream. So strange.

wake me October ends..

FORGET SEPTEMBER! lol! its' been a hectic few weeks for us.. Tim lost his job on the 5th so yes we are both unemployed right now.. not fun for sure. He's been trying to get a new job as fast as possible. He's been doing pretty well for himself having several interviews each week. At least he's getting out there.

Other than that we've been keeping busy doing various things around the house, visiting with neighbors/friends/family, taking care of odds and ends.. it just amazes me that so much time has gone by and I haven't gotten any of the things I had planned on getting done out of the way. It's amazing to me how fast the days go when I don't have a schedule. There is always something to be taken care of, something that needs to be done by today/tomorrow.

My 32nd birthday is this week! lol! going to Texas De Brazil with my family for dinner on Wednesday. yummooo!

Other than that I don't have much to talk about, sorry!