Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Old Wives tale ways of getting babies out of the mama!

At 39 weeks gestation I was uncomfortable, hot, and ready to have this baby. My blood pressure went up and my midwife told me it was time that she put me on bedrest (home rest) until the baby came. She said she encourages her working patients to quit work by 38 weeks.. oops. So my last few days were serious half days.. I was just too exhausted by noon to keep sitting there.

After I was home sitting around waiting for a baby to appear, each tick of the clock made me more and more anxious because I had planned on breastfeeding. I wanted those full 12 weeks off of work to get my nursing relationship off to the best start. I was worried with each passing day that it was a lost day, a day without my baby in my arms or at my breast. My midwife could not deliver me after 42 weeks so I would have to be induced.. unfortunately for me, I wouldn't allow her to bump my due back 3 days to June 23rd and insisted that my due date was June 20th (what I figured out on line) so my 42 week mark would be July 5th.. I did not want my baby born on July 5th so after my due date came and went I got really nervous. I knew she would be late. I was 2 weeks late, my mom was 4 weeks late.

I knew she was perfectly fine inside of me, happy and healthy but the laws of homebirth are strict for safety reasons and I wanted a homebirth. I made one comment on FB one day about it being my due date and out came all the "OLD WIVES TALES" people swearing by this type of meal, this type of exercise, this pill, this activity. In an effort to prove that none of those were going to budge her, I decided to do as many as possible in a 24 hour period of time. I started at noon one day until noon the next day.

evening primrose oil (vaginally & swallowed)
black cohash
Mexican food
a full cut up fresh pineapple
Italian food
labor cookies
walking walking walking 6 miles both days so 12 miles total in that 24 hour period
walking stairs (two at a time)
walking curbs (walking with one foot up on a very high curb for 10 full minutes then switching sides)
bouncing on my exercise ball whenever I was "sitting"
massage with pressure points (had to get a letter from my midwife clearing the therapist to do this)
 Chiropractic adjustment

I did not do castor oil, driving over bumps, cry, do nothing, or go swing on a swing (those were all mentioned to me as well).. I can't even remember what other things were suggested.. but 24 hours.. and no baby. in fact I think it was over a week after my 24 hour babython that she finally came. Finally in the end, having a royal shit fit and crying for HOURS is what finally worked.. or at least I started some really great contractions after I calmed down at least. After some really great contractions that hurt pretty good we went to the park and did some swinging (I heard it helps) it was just uncomfortable.. so we just walked around the neighborhood.. finally went home and went to sleep after 12:30am. Woke up at 3:50 to the best contraction yet and my water bag breaking at the same time!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Goodnight, Sweetheart , well, it's time to go.....

I sang this to my baby girl just minutes ago as I watched her fall into sleep.... the sound of the washer and dryer going at the same time... those sounds filled our house for the full first day of her life and have become the sounds that seem to soothe her the most on days when she needs to nap long and strong.

A year ago I was on the phone with my mom warning her that I'd been having contractions since around 7pm but they were "all over the place" funny how when I hung up the phone I did notice the last 3 times I'd written down were all exactly 10 minutes apart but I figured my luck they would peter out... and one of the ways to find out for sure if you are in labor is to sleep.... so around 12:30ish I drifted off to sleep.. only to be awaken at 3:50 by a horribly painful contraction that broke my water bag at the same time.

...wow what a whirlwind this entire year has been.. from the time I hung up the phone with my mom to go to sleep to now.. as I type this... I just can not believe this year. I want to pour out all that has happened in one year here on this blog.. I want to bang it out for the world to read, so I can keep all 365 days fresh in my mind even when I'm 80...

I find it so amusing when people say to me "enjoy it now, it goes so fast" and my retort always has something to do with "also having a 17 year old" and then they usually say "wow, I dont' have to tell you then" ummm NO YOU DON'T! lol! I've been there.. sighhhhh

Tim has off tomorrow so she'll wake up in her bed surrounded by love of both of her parents... she'll wake up in the exact spot she was born a year ago... she'll wake up and have breakfast in bed just as she's done all but 2 days of her life (2 nights my mom/Tim had to take her home when I was in the hospital)... she'll wake up and I'll say HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY and she won't have a clue it's any other day except a normal day.

Happy Birthday to my sweet little angel, you've taught me so much in such a short amount of time. I'm so glad you are here.

Friday, May 27, 2011

where has time gone?

Wow... I sit here and read old posts about the "blocks of time" of my pregnancy where I wrote about just trying to get to this day or that day.. through this week or that month.. getting to the goal of birth and raising my boo boo baby and getting her into the world.. now this week I've sent out her birthday party invites.. in just one month from today we'll be celebrating her birthday at her party and 2 days later her actual birth... and people around me say "enjoy it, it goes SO fast" and I always have to remind them (or tell them) I have a 17 year old son.. nobody has to tell me how fast it goes..

It's funny because each day after Olivia's birth seemed like an eternity.. I would sit for hours on the couch in a depends diaper (not to pee in.. for the bleeding) allowing Olivia to nurse for as long as she wanted. I never interrupted her, rarely to get up and pee.. So many days I sat by myself with the remote, a tv tray strategically placed with the lap top, a snack, and a huge glass of water... some burp clothes and diapers/wipes usually on the floor at my feet.. I never had to go far for anything.. I wished so hard for her to get big and grow fast.. to roll over, sit up, crawl, walk.. and funny enough this topic game up at a playdate recently and one of the other mama's explained it perfectly.. she said "I think the first three months go very slow.. you are tired, you don't know what to expect, are learning something new.. then the 3rd month comes and you've reached the top of the hill and when you think you can't stand it any longer time starts FLYING" it. is. so true. for me anyway... now I look back and think that I was drinking those days in.. watching her face as she nursed, as she lay on the floor, screamed and cried during tummy time..

I'm dreading the day that I know the next I won't be breastfeeding any longer.. I'm praying that day won't come for at least another year or much longer if I'm lucky.. but just knowing we won't share that bonding time together is going to break me. Fully knowing this is my last chance baby... so far things have been going the way I'd want them to go.. minus a few minor snafu's..

Dylan continues to charge forward in life.. taking summer classes this year so he can graduate early and start his life.. he's looking forward to either college or the military. He wants both but is working on his decision which path he'll take first. He's dating a girl very seriously, her name is Stacey.. they are very supportive of one another and seem to be very much in love. They were really great friends for months before they started dating and really are a great match. Her family has welcomed Dylan with open arms, even putting him to work when he spends time in their home. I feel as though Dylan has found where he feels at home, finally.. this poor kid has been bounced around so much in life.. something Dan nor I wanted for him.. but his need to stay by his dad's side has been his one solid in life. He's always had an open invitation to live with Tim & I but has never taken us up on that. His amazing bond with this Dad is still strong, for that I'm grateful.

Sighhh and I look back and think about days with Dylan when he was still a baby.. a toddler, a child, a pre teen.. those days are flashes in my life.. thank god for pictures and the funny stories... the way Dan would swaddle him and place him in my armpit to sleep in the mornings before he left for work, those first few steps when we lived in Arizona.. his first birthday party, the day of his 2nd surgery, when he got a kitten, when he had stitches, taking him to amusement parks, having big birthday parties for him with friends from school, him with us at our old house.. at our new house.. riding in our cars.. hanging with Tim playing games.. vacations.. laughing about stupid stuff we both love.. our similarities.. how much he looks like me but has Dan's coloring.. all flashes in mind..

and sooo it goes...

Monday, September 13, 2010

Why breast milk supply issues are mostly total BS in my eyes.

Ok.. this is copy/pasted from a comment I left on my cousin's FB wall today in response to something mentioned about supply issues. I feel most women's supply issues are a product of todays American society and the push of pacifiers and bottles (even bottles filled with breastmilk). I think if women would search for answers, do their research they would see if they would stick with what nature gave them (their baby and their boobs) they would figure out a way of making it work.

supply issues? none of us would be here if there were REAL supply issues.. it's all in modern bs... new borns by nature should suck I think it's 20 hours per day (I'll have to look this up again) this doesn't mean EATING 20 hours per day, ...this also means pacifying themselves at the breast.. this in itself helps boost milk supply from the get go.. in the US we call this "cluster feeding" however if one would do some research, they would learn that a normal baby feeding should take between 60-90 minutes and would repeat itself every 2 hours.. meaning if you nursed for 90 minutes (that includes the baby just pacifying maybe even sleeping during that time) it would start all over 30 minutes later. So not giving pacifiers (called dummies in other countries I feel for a reason) as a #1 rule would cut back on women having issues with their milk supply.

Not giving bottles for any reason the first weeks of life would also help the situation considering babies aren't stupid. They realize it's much easier to get milk out of a bottle, why would they want the breast after that?

New moms need to realize that bf babies don't get the same oz of liquid as formula fed babies so when you PUMP and see that you are only getting 1oz-2oz out of each breast THAT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL!! Ask yourself, is your baby wetting/dirtying at least 6-8 diapers per day? Then you are fine.

Also my milk did not come in for 4 full days. My baby LIVED, amazing huh? She wasn't hungry.. I've even heard of babies going 7 days waiting for the milk supply.. so mama's who are told or feel they aren't making enough for the baby the first couple days of life ~ colostrum has wayyyy more calories than milk, things are fine.. this is how it works!

Olivia was a slow gainer, so even though she was bfed and didn't gain back her weight until almost 4 weeks of age, she was bfing like a champ and is now gaining 6-8oz per week.. again.. every baby is different.

Sighhhh I'm so sick of hearing women say they didn't have enough supply.. either they did something to eff up their supply or they don't know the facts. Olivia and I had many hurdles including:

1. her short tongue. she had to have her tongue clipped at 48 hours. Most peds will not do this, I had to find an old school ped that would even do it. it took all of 2 seconds, there was no pain, she cried only because people were holding her head and a second later she was at the breast eating and cooing.

2. My short nipples ~ nothing I can do for those other than wearing nipple shields to help draw them out some. BUT the baby has no idea how long a nipple should be so this stopping women from bfing is BIG BS.

3. Her high roof mouth ~ again nothing I can do for this, she eventually learned on her own to work around this. I feel that the reason she wasn't gaining the first 4 weeks of life was because of her inability to transfer milk. As I said, babies/nature are/is smart.

4. How you bf ~ not ONE person told me that I had to be comfortable. I tried the boppy and the baby would roll into the hole between me and the pillow.. totally impossible for me. sitting up in bed, really uncomfortable. Then I was lent a "My breast friend" pillow which is sturdier and that helped tremendously but it was still hard to bf in bed. One day I decided to try bfing sitting on my comfy sofa.. what do you know IT WORKED! Funny how me kicking back relaxing was the ticket to my baby latching easily and my back not hurting. I find to this day trying to bf in a straight chair is impossilble for me. I can do it, she needs to eat, but then I suffer later. If you contiuously are uncomfortable bfing, why would anyone continue. GET COMFY!! Find the pillow(s) that work for you. Boppy didn't work for me SO EFFING WHAT, they might work for you!

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Olivia Nicole has FINALLY arrived!!

Everyone wants to read the labor story, so here it is!!

Olivia Nicole Pelletier 6/28/2010 7:55am 8lbs 10oz 22" long

Sunday June 27th Tim, Dylan and I decided to go hide for the day at the movie theater movie hopping.. we went to see one movie together then broke up and the boys went to see one movie and I went to another on my own. When we left something stupid happened and of course being overly pregnant and sensitive I started crying. Dylan and Tim were both trying to comfort me and we decided to go to an early dinner.

IN the back of my mind I had heard having a good cry started labor so I decided not to worry about crying and let it all go. I cried through dinner at the restaurant, I'm sure Tim & Dylan were thrilled but other people around us managed to ignore me which I was grateful for.

So we got home and I just was feeling cruddy from crying so I went to lay down and Tim's parents came over (they had just driven in from Arizona for a visit). Around 7:30 I finally went out for a walk with the dog and ran into some neighbors who wanted to talk.. While on my walk with Blue I started having some contractions that actually hurt. Then once I got home I was talking to Tim's mom and noticed the contractions stayed going and were strong, but were not consistent.

As soon as they left Tim & I went back out for another walk, hoping to keep the contractions going. Once we got walking they stayed but were all over the place.. one minute apart, 4 minutes, 7 minutes.. this continued after we got home. I called my mom just to tell her and started logging the contractions but they were still 4 minutes apart then 11 minutes, all over the place and obviously false labor. I finally fell asleep around 12:30 and woke up to a few contractions over the next couple hours.

At 3:50 am I woke up to the worst contraction yet, I was screaming and Tim was fumbling all over the bed to try to find me to figure out what was going on. He managed to find my hand just as I felt a POP and felt a major gush and I was yelling "oohh my god" and Tim was all "whhahhht is going on"? I got up to go to the bathroom and sure enough more clear amniotic fluid came gushing out. I grabbed a towel and laid it out in the middle of the loft, took off my night shirt and was on all fours yelling for Tim to get my phone and was dialing my mom. I was on the phone with my mom and got back up because I thought I had to go to potty again and was on the phone screaming bloody murder with my parents listening on the other end (I heard later my mom had the phone on speaker so my dad heard the whole commotion).

My parents got in the car right away and I called my midwife who sent the nurse over. The nurse came over rather quickly, it seemed like no time had passed but in that time Tim was busy setting up the birthing tub and trying to help me the best he could. The nurse Karen was the first to arrive and she got to the top of the stairs and here I am naked on all fours on a towel in the middle of a contraction. All she could say is "oohhhh sweeeeetie" and she dropped her bag and was at my side. Karen became the only person that I wound up listening to and focusing on throughout the labor, not sure why but even when my midwife would say something for some reason I couldn't process it unless Karen repeated it or touched me.

My parents showed up next, my dad came to get the dog which luckily Blue didn't put up a fight. From the second I popped out of bed screaming to hours after the birth I couldn't figure out where the dog had gone. I felt really bad because I must have scared the devil out of Blue. My dad assures me that Blue was fine and continues to do fine over at his house although the first day was a little rough for him.

So now my mom is there so she is running around trying to get pots of water boiling for the tub, the tub is now mostly filled and I'm getting in but it's too cold to birth the baby in. The nurse checked me and I'm dilated to 8, never heard how effaced I was but to me I was so glad that I wasn't the girl who cried wolf. For all the pain I was in I was worried that the nurse would get there and I would only be dilated to 2 and still have a long painful labor ahead of me.

Time was all a blur for me, the next thing I know my midwife was here with her assistant Becky.. a house full of very supportive educated woman and my poor hubby trying his best to do everything that needed to be done. I had everything very organized in preparation for the birth but of course while I'm in labor people are asking where this or that is and I'm all frustrated growling that "IT'S ALL HERE, UNDER THE TABLE, IN THE BIN" etc pointing towards rooms/areas where I had the supplies.

I was in the tub laboring, trying not to tense up and every contraction I would just put my hand outstretched (a trick I'd learned from my cousin to keep relaxed) on the outside of the tub. Funny enough I had just been reading BREAKING DAWN (the last Twilight book) that day and was reading the part about Bella burning. The words "it felt like I'd gone from being tied to the stake as I burned, to gripping that stake to hold myself in the fire" kept recycling in my mind. The pain was what it should be, my body was doing it's work and the pain was bringing me closer and closer to holding my precious baby safely in my arms. Karen would put her hand loosely on top of mine and talk me through the contraction, breathing and telling me my body was doing it's job. That's all I needed to hear to keep focused.

Eventually Debbie my midwife wanted to check me and she said right away that my cervix had a lip so she wanted me to get out of the tub to have it pushed back. Once out of the tub I was still laboring and did start pushing but that darn lip kept coming back.

Later I heard that I had pushed Olivia's head really far out 5 times in a row and I kept stopping short and she would slide right back in. At some point Debbie was telling me to push past the "ring of fire" and I wasn't there yet. I thought I was only thinking I wasn't there yet, but my mom told me that I actually did say it out loud. Pushing on the floor outside the tub on the floor wasn't working and my midwife suggested we move. Luckily Tim & I think Becky (the midwife assistant) had gotten the bed ready in a short amount of time and in bed I climbed. I didn't like laying down to push, so then I was on all fours in bed.. that wasn't working and I wound up on my right side with Tim behind me and my mom standing behind the bed behind Tim. Debbie was still holding that lip of my cervix trying to guide me where to push and Becky & Karen were holding my legs in place and verbally walking me through the birth.

Eventually I could feel her moving down and from what my mom said I actually said this out loud, but I do not remember actually saying that out loud either. Once I got her head out I was breathing in a hyperventilating type fashion and all I was saying was "okay okay okay okay okay okay" or something like that just trying to focus. I had to get the shoulders out and Debbie was down there trying to get them out and the next thing I felt was a huge gush of relief. I looked down and she was out on the bed, Debbie, Becky, and Karen were scrambling to clean her up a little, look at her, and get her to my chest.

Tim was behind me crying, my mom was crying and babbling, and all the ladies were cooing over how beautiful she was. Funny thing was, I never stopped myself in that minute as I normally do to breath in and out and really etch that moment into my memory. I did that with Dylan's birth and with some other major times in my life where I wanted to remember everything as it was happening around me. I didn't do that but I don't think I'll forget.

A few things that I didn't fit into the story. Any noise that diverted my attention REALLY ticked me off during the labor. At one point my mom was making coffee downstairs, and her coffee maker has a grinder on it (I don't drink coffee so my mom had to bring her own supplies for everyone). I was yelling down the stairs to "SHUT THAT FUCKING NOISE UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW" or some such shit.

Also, Tim was behind me on the floor next to the tub and he kept trying to get behind me to support me but I was just REALLY uncomfortable no matter what position I was in and didn't want to be moved or touched. At one point again a noise that diverted my attention annoyed the hell out of me, it was Tim's breathing in my ear. So I waved my arm to get him away from me and smacked him in the face.. ooops.. I heard later my midwife said that she had never felt so sorry for a husband in a homebirth situation because I wouldn't allow him to help at any time. Tim really thinks it's because I was transitioning already when I was awoken in major pain so we never had the time to labor together and for him to figure out what I liked and didn't like. Of course, it didn't help either that he had to be running around setting things up and once Karen got here and I focused on her there was no breaking through my mental blockage for anyone else.

Another noise that was annoying to me was the birds outside.. they were going from the time I walked in the loft to labor until I'm sure after the birth. As with Dylan's birth I kept thinking "once the sun comes up this will be over" so in my head I could have this birth done and over with by 7:02 am (the time of Dylan's birth). Once we moved into my bedroom I had my eye on two clocks and we passed 7am and I wasn't happy that she wasn't out yet. Once she was born I heard 3 different times she was born and realized it was because the two clocks are a few minutes apart. Everyone agreed she was born at 7:55am in the end.

In closing I have to say that this homebirth has completed something for me I wanted to do in my life. Part of my bucket list if you will??? Something I always said "if I ever get pregnant again this is how I want it". I didn't get my tub birth, but I got my home birth. I never imagined I'd deliver in my bed, but now I realize it was HER BIRTH and in the end I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.

My worst nightmare of one driving, one in diapers has become what makes my heart beat every minute of every day and what NOW completes my world...