Sunday, January 25, 2009

somewhere between the dream world, heaven, and our meeting place...

I have been dreaming of this same place.. over and over and over. Each time I dream about this place I add something to the detail of this place and remember it the next dream. It seems I've been dreaming about this place right before I wake up most mornings so maybe it's when I'm in the lightest part of REM or maybe half awake.. not exactly sure but let me explain this place.

First I'm in a huge flat piece of land. The sun is warm, the breeze is warm, the sky is perfect blue, there are trees sporatically placed. I think I'm walking through a field but there isn't grass at my feet only around the boarders of this area. Possibly an old farming field??? I'm always walking towards this steep grassy hill that resembles a grassy hill that used to take me to a retention pond at the end of my street growing up. Once you get to the top of the hill you could walk around the oval "bowl" or go down to the creeks edge. In the winters this was the most perfect place to sled because there were areas that were SUPER STEEP and others that were very gradual and the pond always froze over fast and you could sled out on top of the ice.

The first time I had a dream about this place I realized I was there with my grandma, but she wasn't there but I felt her all around me. The first dream there was no pond/water at the bottom of the bowl which I didn't realize until the next few dreams. The next dream I brought these wire/metal butterfly shapes for a project. I stuck them in the round in specific places. The next time I came back someone had planted little flowers in straight lines around the metal butterfly shapes I had stuck in the ground. One of the flowers there was Lilly of the Valley. Butterflys, Lilly of the Valley and about 4 songs represent my grandmother to me. Okay so I had this same dream today, this morning actually, and now someone has built little ponds in 4 separate rectangles around the plants and the metal butterfly shapes I had brought. It's like japanese garden style, very perfect, and I can hear water running as if there is a pump moving the water from one pond to the next.

Each time I walk through the field, then up the hill, then down into the bowl and around, back up the hill and I end the dream in the field. This morning I actually woke up mid dream and went back into it. It makes me wonder if that is when my grandma is with me watching me dream? are we meeting there? is it "her heaven"? is this my heaven? will I ever see her there or always just feel she is there?

This is just very surreal to me that I keep having this continuing dream. I've had dreams like this before where I dream the same thing over and over and it's like deja vu but now I'm adding things to the dream. So strange.