GOD threw me a bone...

So yeah.. I think God threw me a bone just to shut my ass up about the whole "ma'm" bit.. but ya know.. this one offended me, so now I'm just mad at society for having guideline ideas about how people should look.. so here's the story.. I took the day off from work yesterday so I could spend a day with my son while he is on Spring Break.. and as you all know he turned 13 on Monday the same day I turned 30 1/2.. yes.. Dylan was born on my half birthday! lol! anyway.. so the whole reason I took off was so I could take him bowling for $1 per game at the alley around the corner from my house. So I told him I had a ton of stuff to do for the party I wanted to get done on my day off, the biggest project grocery shopping.. so he said that he wanted to go to Woodmans at 5am and get it done with so we could bowl all day! lol! yeah right.. so he didn't wake up until 11:30am which I had already taken a shower, cleaned up the computer room, taken the dog out a few times, etc. He only woke up when his dad and grandma started calling his cell phone ever 2 minutes and then he woke up with a fire under his ass ready to go! So off we went.. first to Wal-Mart to get plates and stuff.. we are almost done and he announces he wants to go buy an air soft gun with his own $$.. okay fine.. so we walk back to the camping/fishing section and I get my sterno for the party and he looks at guns.. He wanted to pay back there so this gentleman who was a dead ringer for Don Sutherland has to ask if either of us is 18.. and at first I think he's joking.. then I realize he's not.. he asked if I was his sister or cousin! OMG.. no I'm his mother.. so I laugh, he was nice about it, and totally innocent about it.. anyway.. so we leave go to Woodmans.. we load up 1 cart of beer, wine coolers, etc.. go up to pay.. the cashier starts lecturing me on bringing a minor who is "not my son" into a liquor store! Okay.. I totally missed what you said "what??" again she said "because really he's not YOUR son you can not legally bring him into a liquor store" okay... again I'm totally lost and really confused.. "HE IS MY SON, HE TURNED 13 ON MONDAY THE SAME DAY I TURNED 30 1/2" and she gives me a look like YEAH RIGHT.. so I kept going "wanna see my stretch marks to PROVE it?? I was 17 when I had him, do the math" then all of a sudden she's apologetic (after she got a good chance to look at my drivers license) and OMG you look so young and all that. Yeah, whatever biatch.. just stop jumping to conclusions before you start lecturing people in the store.. asswipe!

So yeah.. God threw me a bone but I only got to enjoy it or be frusterated by it by oh.. 4.5 seconds because once outside of Woodmans.. IT WAS SNOWING! oh yeah.. It's April and SNOWING! We both had only worn sweatshirts so we kept racing around everywhere.. it was not fun! f'in mother nature... again I'll say it.. she's no CHRIS ROCK! sorry this isn't FUNNY! we need SPRING, WARM WEATHER, AND THE F'IN SUN BACK!

So there it is...... God thinks he's a f'in comedian now too!