made LIFETIME today!

whoo-hooo.... leaving for AZ tomorrow! Can't wait. Have a ton of packing to do which I haven't done ANY! Better get a move on!

Not what I was hoping for... BUT a loss is a loss!

I lost .4lbs this week which puts me at 147.2. I was hoping to be 146 today because I'll have TOM next week and won't lose. I leave for vacation on Sunday and I really wanted to be 146 so I'd have a 6lb cushion. I guess a 5lb cushion isn't too bad and I'll have a few days to get back on track after the trip to drink a ton of water and flush out any water weight!

To my darling niece Reilly Kate.....

another letter I wrote.. this one to my cousin Heather. I attached it to a gift for Reilly Kate.


Dear Heather & Michael,
I just wanted a chance to tell you the meaning behind this gift...... I found it in an angel catalog I receive. This picture is titled “Remembering”. As you may or may not know I personally believe in angels and heaven and collect angel figurines, dolls, paintings, etc..... I saw this picture and first just thought it reminded me of a picture of Heather when she was about 2 years old. Then, the picture brought on new life. I have always believed that children (souls)pick their parents long before conception and the beauty behind this picture of a child (a soul) looking down from the heavens patiently awaiting return reaffirmed my belief.
I can remember being in awe as a child looking at the picture of the angel hovering over the children walking over the bridge in my “auntie Kathies” house. The theory that there is someone watching over you, weather you feel you need it or not , has always been a source of comfort for me. This is especially great to me now as a parent looking for answers to a child’s questions of why things happen in this world.
I also believe that babies are our closest link to the angels and heaven. You can smell it in their hair, feel it in the softness of their skin, and see it in their eyes when they look past you at “nothing”. I believe when babies are looking at “nothing” they are visiting with their angels. Wendy witnessed on several occasions Leif’s angels when he was a baby. There were times when he would awaken from a nap and his mobile turned on by itself, entertaining him until she arrived. Another time she walked into the room where he was sleeping to discover a little girl watching over him as he slept.
I myself never had this type of encounter , but I did encounter what I call an omen. For two new parents who have already had a health scare with their child you both can appreciate my story. The morning of Dylan’s first surgery July 14th, 1994 about 5 am Dan and I were driving on Sheridan road towards Evanston hospital. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shinning, birds singing, dew on the grass .. you get the picture. People were running, biking, and walking on both sides of the street, cars were in front of and behind us..... We were probably driving about 30 mph when Dan slowed down and stopped. The world had stopped. There were no cars in front or behind us, the bikers, runners, walkers were gone. It was just Dan, Dylan, and myself inside our car and a beautiful fawn standing 20 feet in front of our car alone. The fawn watched us for what seemed like hours. We sat there frozen and listened to Dylan cooing in the back seat and enjoyed this special moment, a gift that was sent to us to let us know “everything would be okay”. The fawn finally stepped up on the curb and walked through the back yard of this huge beautiful home and stopped one last time to turn its head as if “making sure we got the message”. When the fawn disappeared from sight cars were on both sides of the road, people were walking, running, biking... time had started again. 30 seconds previous I had been worried and now I was at ease and felt this tremendous pressure lifted.
For me, this was proof that God will not put anything on you that you can not handle. Being a parent this is crucial to keep in mind when things get tough. No matter what the situation, remember.... all things happen for a reason and look at this picture and realize.. you were chosen by her, your beautiful daughter, Reilly Kate. (pretty smart baby if you ask me!)
With love on this joyous occasion, Melissa

What a WONDERFUL world....

a copy of a letter I wrote my cousin Danny who is currently in Iraq but on his way home to us very soon. This letter is going to be added to a book his girlfriend Amanda is feverishly working on to get done before his homecoming!

February 18, 2006
Hey Danny………..
I talked to you this morning….and was one of the first to hear your news (from you personally) that you had orders to come home on 1 April! For some reason I wasn’t thinking that it was NEW news or that is was FACTUAL news or that you actually had those orders. I thought you were making conversation and the date that your mom had in mind of the end of May was still correct. After talking later with your mom and Amanda I found out NO THIS IS HUGE NEWS. And so we prepare for your homecoming. Plans are to be made for your arrival day, meeting you at the gate, balloons and banners, camera’s to be charged, gas tanks to be filled, plane tickets to be shuffled, everyone to be contacted of your arrival, weight to be lost for the endless feasting we will do once you arrive, parties to be planned, I could go on and on. But the biggest project has to be this book. Danny, Amanda loves you down to her core. This book is proof of her endless dedication to you. I know this love is new, but Dan, take a look… just take a look… you don’t even have to have your eyes open to know it, to feel it, to breathe it, to be intoxicated by it. It’s there, it’s real, it’s here, and you aren’t letting go, and everyone couldn’t be happier for you.
Iraq has changed our Danny… Iraq has stripped the extra bs from Danny and left us with your core… just Danny plain and simple. Iraq has put things into amazing perspective for you, the simple things are all you need in this world, and Amanda holds that key to keeping simplicity within your life. So I have to thank Iraq for allowing our Danny to come back a new man, a renewed man, a man who will carry Iraq within him for the remainder of his days. I also have to thank God, Kevlar, and your interpreters who watched your back during your day to day missions, because without them, you wouldn’t be coming back to us. I have to thank your mother for being your mother, for bringing you and Heather into this world, because without you two in this world, I don’t know where I’d be in life. You’ve both always been there for me through anything that came my way and I can’t thank you both enough. Danny, your Hossie has helped mold all of us through the years and now is the bearer of two amazing reasons for you to have made it through every second through Iraq. Reilly & Roman, their little pure faces…. Reilly’s boundless laughter and energy and Roman’s angelic sweetness reminding us to always “GO ME”. Lastly, I have to thank Amanda for being an amazing pen pal to you during your Iraq time. I feel it was her who breathed new love into your heart that added lift to your step.
As I write this I’m listening to IZ. He singing one of my favorite songs….. What a Wonderful World and reminds me of this beautiful friendship bond that our families have. It’s so amazing and I am actually in awe of how strong this bond has gotten during the time you’ve been in Iraq. I can not thank your mom, Ken, my mom, and my dad enough for bringing our two families together. I think this bond is unbreakable because we aren’t blood family, we CHOOSE to be here in one another’s lives. It’s something so unique, it’s indescribable….. It just is.
I see trees of green, red roses too I see them bloom for me and you And I think to myself, what a wonderful world I see skies of blue and clouds of white The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night And I think to myself, what a wonderful world The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky Are also on the faces of people going by I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?" They're really saying "I love you" I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow They'll learn much more than I'll ever know And I think to myself, what a wonderful world Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world ~ Louis Armstrong
Remember when we were kids and we had our favorite underroos??? You know.. I can’t even remember who we all were, but it seems that all the girls were Wonder Woman so I can only imagine that you were either Super Man or Spider Man. The crazy thing about those time is that those costumes made us feel invincible, like no body could touch us, no bullet could penetrate our bodies…. We had our amazing shields, bracelets, and headbands that bullets would just bounce off of… and here you are in a war…. Without your shied, bracelets, or one of our headbands because unfortunately we had to grow up and our imaginations could only carry us so far. I’m so glad I have those memories, because those were dang fun memories. What is funny is in our grown up lives, we have become Superhero’s of some type… you a great American war hero and Heather, Wendy, and I mothers to 1 amazing little girl and 4 energetic boys… all of whom offer us a glance at looking through the world through their eyes from time to time… and maybe we can catch a glimpse of our past Superhero’s selves. What a wonderful world.
I love you, I missed you, I can’t wait to be part of your life after Iraq…. Keep those feet firmly planted and remember to KISS (keep it simple stupid).
Melissa

147.6

Now I'm talking! I was so afraid I wouldn't lose at my weigh in on Saturday and I did. I seriously couldn't believe it because at home my scale showed a gain of at least a lb! I'm hoping to get down to 146 before I leave for the trip. I have two more weigh in's so I think it's possible! I just have to get on track here!

SIZE 0? AM I REALLY NOTHING?

Okay.... soooo a ton of people on line, at work, everywhere have been talking about these Gap jeans lean & tall. I figured I would go check them out because they are on sale at the Gap outlet not far from my house. I walked in and found them rather quickly and was holding each pair up to me. Size 0 lQQked like it would fit so I decided to take sizes 0-6 into the dressing room with me. WELL THEY FIT! Believe me, I'm as shocked as you are. The way that my body is shaped though is weird. In these jeans they were baggy in the butt and leggs but the waist was tight and came up higher (bigger size more fabric) in the size 6, as I went down the butt/leggs fit more snug and the waist came lower which fit better. I finally just jumped into the size 0's but of course the way that my body is shaped I have this huge roll of fat that gets pushed up and over the waistband so I'll have to wear a long shirt with them! I figure I'll work on my personal goal of 140 and see if those babies fit better than... for now they fit and I can wear them without hurting myself! AMAZING!

Proof my grandma speaks to me

So last Saturday night I had a dream about Margaret. Not sure why but I found out during the week that she had her baby on Sunday. To me this is finally the proof I've been lQQking for that my grandma still watches over and communicates with me, in essense, still seeks a relationship with me. I think of this as very comforting because she's always been a big part of my life.

Anyway, I lost the lb I gained back last week due to falling off the wagon for about a week and half. I got back on (again) and fordged forward and here I am again at 148.2. Guessing my body likes that number! Wendy joined today too!