JUST KILL ME!

I sooo forgot to post this.. it was the worst moment of my life.... not turning 30, not being pregnant at 16 or having a baby with severe medical problems at 17, not losing my grandmother a few years ago, or the moment I found out my best friend had been murdered (okay, that tops pretty high up there too) anyway. I'm getting overly dramatic here.. but it was pretty bad.. it was just one of those moments in time that actually stop you dead in your tracks and the world stops for just long enough for everything to go in slow motion around you... you can actually hear yourself breathing, and feel yourself thinking because you are so confused it takes some time to process... and here it is.... Dylan wanted to go bowling SO BAD the last few times he's been at our house... but bowling is pretty darn expensive especially when bowling 3 games each only taken an hour and costs you just shy of $50.. it's just not a form of entertainment I'd like to drop that much dough on.. but it's fun... so finally we got to go on Friday night. Cosmic bowling night.. we get there and there is a half hour wait, so we didn't have our bowling shoes so we put our name on the list and rushed home to get our shoes. We get back and we still wound up waiting almost another half hour.. so we get our lane and next to us is this guy bowling by himself.. obviously someone who is there all the time.. he just walked in, didn't have to wait for a lane, nothing.. most of the time one of the people that worked there was sitting talking with him about his "game". On the other side we had a couple probably in their early 20's, next to them was a rowdy GROUP of mostly guys and a handful of girls probably in their mid 20's.... so we started our games... I got my highest score ever 164, I was damn proud, Tim hit every pin except the last frame and wound up with a 195 so of course he was totally ticked... Dylan did okay.. he was bowling in the low 100's which for a 13 year old isn't bad... but the world stopping, slow motion, punch in the gut moment happened somewhere during our 2nd game... I stepped up to bowl just as both the guys on either side of me stepped up to bowl. The "professional" guy on my right was already walking up to throw the ball and the guy next to me looked at me and said "go ahead m'am" OHHHHH MY FUCKING GOD KILL ME NOW! someone called me m'am! What the hell? I'm 30 not 70!!! The guy couldn't have been 5-7 years younger than me and he calls me m'am! Kill me.. just kill me... horrible.. just horrible...

I'm still amazed......

So today I went walking at lunch and looked down and saw I'm wearing a pair of capri's that I bought during last summer. It still amazes me that from season to season I can still fit in the same clothes and they still fit pretty much the same! This WW stuff has me thinking all the time about my body! It's so strange to be able to grab something off the shelf in my closet and KNOW it will fit and will look okay on me! A M A Z I N G!!!!

Religous delemma's.....

yes, so last night Tim was cleaning the garage and asked me if I wanted to decorate for Easter. With his birthday party coming up in two weekends I figured it would be nice to have the house decorated for Easter considering Easter is the very next day (April 8th). So I brought out all the little bunnies and chicks and put them in various places around the house. I didn't take my allergy pills last night so as I lay awake thinking somehow I got to thinking about Jesus hanging on the cross dead and rising again 3 days later which is now our Easter Sunday. So my question is, how do we know he was dead to begin with? With medical science we now know that we buried George Washington alive. He had leach therapy and they sucked so much blood out of him, his heartbeat was so faint they thought he was dead. They buried him and years later, unburied him and discovered scratch marks in the top of his coffin.. this must have happened time and time again because eventually people were buried with a string around their finger which was then attached to a bell and someone had to stand watch in the graveyard to make sure that within a few days that the bell did not ring. If it did, they unburied the person.. hence the phrase "dead ringer". Anyway.. so Jesus was whipped for hours bleeding all over the place then he had to drag his cross miles bleeding the whole way, then they nailed him to the cross, again bleeding all over the place... so where is there proof that he stopped breathing that his heart stopped beating and he was clincally dead? We have no proof... in fact, while we are on the topic of the big J.C. I'd like to know what person in today's day and age would believe any teenager that came up preggers and declared they had never had relations with any man.. yeah right.. sorry, I'm having issues in religious beliefs today... I believe that humans need to follow rules and laws, otherwise we'd be out there killing each other over road rage and other stupid things, and I'm all for treating others how you would want to be treated.. but believing stories when only 1 in 5,000 people could actually write in that day and time... I dunno.. leaves a tons of holes in those stories.. too many questions, too many medical facts that today are common knowledge.. hmmmm any comments?

a weekend with the boys...

and here we are again ladies and gents, facing another weekend with the boys! So again I'll be trying to get out of work on Friday at 4 so I can zoom around from Elgin to Crystal Lake, then up to Round Lake Beach, and back to Carpentersville all in around 3 hours time.. ughh I'm hating that drive.. but whatever.. it's gotta be done. soooo what to do with the boys *this* weekend.. well we have all 3 for the entire weekend sooooo I know Tim wants to go buy some new XBOX games and an extra controller, I want to buy a new cell phone, and I want to take them to Panera to eat! Yumm!! Don't know what else.. it will probably be gorgeous out too! ughh oh and Tim already said "no Violet" ughh I feel bad for her.. locked up all weekend with no kids!

My husband the GODFATHER, Leif the pole annilator, Dylan the homework escapee, and Sam, umm and Sam... uhh yeah, the good kid!!

I have absolutely NOTHING to write about Sam. He was his normal happy kid self this weekend. That kid just goes with the flow and doesn't say boo about anything.

ANYWAY, the big news is that Tim was asked to be the GODFATHER of Irina (my cousins 3rd child that was just born on Valentines Day). My sister will be the Godmother and already it's been a whirlwind of plans... planning the baptism that is! We're trying to hold it at our family church Miller Chapel in Johnsburg. That has been fun trying to get through all the layers of people whom we need to contact in getting permission to use it, a priest to come and actually perform the baptism etc etc etc. Then come the plans for the where to go to eat afterwards.. after all it's all about the food, right? j/k So first it was the Warsaw Inn or another place in Arlington Heights, but now it sounds as if Heather has decided on the Barn of Barrington which I'm perfectly happy with considering that is seriously 10 minutes from our house and Tim & I had our wedding reception there!! We love it.. it's beautiful, and has some meaning to our family.. so all in all, it's a great match.. oh and not terribly far from the chapel either! lol!

Okay on to Leif.. soooooo Tim decided to bring the kids to his work this weekend just to give them something to do and of course they found plenty to do.. I'll doubt that Leif will ever live this down.. but yeah.. he hit a pole in the middle of the warehouse! lol! "I didn't see it" is all we hear!

Dylan..yeah he came to my house this weekend with specific instructions that he was grounded until he got all his homework done.. yeah I'm reading the text book *TRYING* to figure it out and I'm totally lost.. so I called Pam and sure enough she was home AND willing to come over! she was our savior.. she came over in less than 5 minutes and had us working on the homework and actually understanding it! Go Pam! lol! We got it all done and I *think* he probably had to have gotten 100% on all the work we did! He was rechecking answers and everything! Go Dylan.. but then on Sunday afternoon right before his dad was set to pick him up, Tim found a page of homework he didn't do.. and of course Dylan is MIA! ughhh so I walked around the hood, didn't find him. I got in the truck and found him at the park and told him to get his butt home.. he told me he had already done that homework and he had.. but I was mad at first!

Had a fun weekend, did a ton of walking. Seriously.. Saturday I had to have walked between 10-15 miles.. I was walking the whole day.. then another 4 miles on Sunday morning, then another quick 4 miles last night with Julie before her WW weigh in!

I dedicate this song 2 my 1 & only son

so here I am again blogging about a song... I guess I listen to songs and relate to them for some reason... this song has stuck with me since my husband and I attended a wedding for his friend Mac, it was his mother/son dance song. It was so fitting for the two of them, because for Mac growing up it was just the two of them.... and she was one of those strong women who taught her son a ton about life. Dylan's father is a product of a relationship much the same with his mother, however, as much as she would want her son to have a simple life.. it just hasn't worked out that way... so here they are, the lyrics that I'd want my son to carry with him into "manhood" which has already begun... Dylan I love you!!


Artist: Lynyrd Skynyrd LyricsSong: Simple Man Lyrics

Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
And listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass.
Go find a woman and you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above.

[Chorus]
And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?Forget your lust for the rich man's gold
All that you need is in your soul,
And you can do this if you try.
All that I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

[Chorus]

Boy, don't you worry... you'll find yourself.
Follow you heart and nothing else.
And you can do this if you try.
All I want for you my son,
Is to be satisfied.

[Chorus]

The "make it or break it" phrase... 8 words that jerked my attention

When I found out Tim had cheated on me when we first started dating, I always thought that there would be a phrase a sentence, something that would be the "make it or break it" phrase.... whatever those words were, I never did hear them and we continued our relationship and got married. We've now been married for almost 9 years and every once in awhile I still get amazed at the simple things Tim will bring to my attention that throws my entire being out of alignment just long enough to realize sometimes I just don't see the bigger picture.. and here was a perfect example.. for those of you who know Tim, you know he is a man of few words. He's just not a big talker. He talks, but he's not overly chatty as I've always been my entire life. So last night we had one crazy night.. I'm not exactly sure how to explain what went down last night because honestly, I don't know if I'll ever know myself what happened. It involved my 2 nephews and their father, their fathers girlfriend and her daughter. I got a call to go pick them up, all I could think about was getting to them.. I stopped downstairs just long enough to ask Tim if he was going to come with me.. he did. On the way he was chatting about who the hell knows what, and it was frusterating me.. I just was concentrating on getting to my boys, and getting them out of whatever situation it was.. so after everything Tim and I are talking and I asked him WTF he was talking about on the way over to get them and he says "I was trying to get your mind off of everything" and I told him then that he needs to realize whenever there is a problem with any of those 3 boys that I go into "mom" mode, all I can think about is them until I know they are okay.. I can't go into some "chat" about some co-worker, or the dishes in the sink.. I'm totally focused, I hear nothing around me, it's just my mom mode.. I told him how much all 3 of our boys mean to me, the bond we have, and how I would die if there wasn't something I did to prevent them from getting hurt physically/emotionally... so Tim says "you don't think I love those boys too" that was IT for me.. it's something that throws my entire perspective off of my entire thinking of my husband.. it's not as if I don't realize he has a heart, and he hangs out with these kids for hours on end playing xbox and other games.. but having it said out loud like that just makes me see what a great guy I married... it's funny how you learn something new every day even about the man you've lived with for almost 9 years!