COZUMEL ~ BABYMOON

Sorry to post and run.. BUT Tim hurt himself on our trip so I have to take him to the ER.. if you are curious about our trip read on...



Happy babymoon to you..
Happy babymoon to you…. Hmmmm but of course.. nothing can ever start as smoothly as we would like. Tuesday night Tim’s grandma Ruth passed away after a 8 day battle, the wake scheduled for Friday night and the funeral for Saturday (today the day we are leaving to go to Cozumel for our babymoon). Due to timing of course we couldn’t go to both. Sooooooooooooooo our limo arrives, we get to the airport a half hour earlier than scheduled.. we get in a HUGE long line and wait.. and wait… and wait… we get our seats and head to the food court thinking it will be a fast meal and then waiting at security.. we get through security and find our gate and sit and sit.. boarding time comes and goes.. comes and goes.. I go to the bathroom and come back and Tim announces.. “GUESS WHAT” ….. GROAN… “just GUESS” so I guess.. we are delayed for a cracked windshield.. if this is an omen of what’s to come I’m not sure if I’m happy or not. Last trip to AZ with the dog and kids we were delayed at the gate for 4 hours for the same thing with 3 kids and a dog.. sigh.. not fun. That trip was not fun and it started that bad. So again.. here we sit.. waiting.. waiting… waiting… sigh.

FIRST FULL DAY IN COZUMEL
Well first I’ll start with the rest of last night. Our plane finally left around 8pm only 3 hours late, the pilot said that he could make up a half hour so our flight would be 3 hours 20 minutes.. they offered a free movie, of course one I’d already seen… THE PROPOSAL.. oh well. I guess normally there is NO MOVIE so we were supposed to be happy.. after the broken windshield the mechanics couldn’t get the film off the new windshield because of the cold. Then during the safety check there was a malfunction with the landing gear.. great JUST GREAT.. then we had to wait for awhile to get a spot to take off.. after taxing out we finally took off very smoothly… about half way through the movie they stopped it to ask if anyone was onboard that was a doctor or nurse.. UMM REALLY.. someone was having a heart attack on our plane!! As soon as this happened the pilot dropped the plane as if descending, they got everything under control and we finally made it to Cozumel around 11:30pm. We got off the plane and scurried inside to get through the endless line at customs all along the way “Carlos” our guide yelling at us that we were all “doing it wrong”. Yeah the flight attendants had given us wrong information that if we made a mistake we could cross it out.. oh well.. So finally we get through, get our bags and go through the safety check. Tim and I pressed the red button and neither of us were chosen for the random check. Whoooo let’s go.. outside we were greeted by our Apple reps and found our buses and loaded. 10 minutes later we took off and 20 minutes later we made it to the hotel. We get our room only to find they gave us 2 double size beds instead of a king.. but again this is an apple issue with booking on line.. they never give you that option and in the past we’ve always been able to pick once we got to the resort.. I was SERIOUSLY hungry and asked if there was any food being served at a bar and the desk clerk said no.. we went to our room and opened some snacks intended for the flight home and drank some bottled water and went to bed.
Sighhhh.. our beds.. I think sleeping on concrete would actually be more comfortable.. seriously this is how bad the beds are here.. I wake up every hour or so because my entire side of my body is asleep.. UMM HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? I’ve been a side sleeper my entire life and here I am having to wake up to flip over because everything on one side is asleep.. sigh.. is it the pregnant body or the beds? I think the beds.
So after our first pretty unrestful night Tim and I woke up, took quick showers (there is no hot water in our room) and go to breakfast.. of course I can’t find anything I like so I’m just going up to the buffet and grabbing anything because I’m hungry. We ate then went to our Apple welcoming meeting. Of course, many other people had some major complaints about this resort.. it’s not what we are used to for sure but you get what you pay for and in the past we’ve been pretty lucky.. not that it’s a bad resort but they gave many people double rooms instead of kings and other people have complained about everything from “disgustingly dirty rooms” to “recycled food” which is true.. they bring things from the lunch over to the dinner so you are constantly eating the same basic foods.
After lunch we came back to the room because I was just exhausted.. who knows why.. but I was. I fell asleep about 2 minutes after I realized Tim was asleep but I woke up maybe an hour later and watched some TV. Luckily there are 2 English channels. Tim slept until 5pm and there was no way I was waking him up.. he was actually snoring at some points which means he was OUT. He must have needed it.
We woke up and went to dinner and then I grabbed a book and hung out in the lobby to start reading and Tim headed to the bar with some people we had met to drink. We met a ton of people from the Chicago/Illinois area but then also Wisconsin and Canada. It’s been fun so far, no swimming or normal Mexico activity.. I do have to say that every person I ask for milk has questioned me on it like “whyyyy milk” one waiter actually told me “sorry my cow has the day off” lol!
Tim and I found a ton of little creatures all over the resort. Lots of iguanas, and gecko looking creatures along with birds and butterflies. Tim likes the hummingbirds because even though they are so small they seem to stand still because they move sooo fast you can hardly see them move. I’m already well into my Nicholas Sparks book A Bend in the Road. It’s amazing so far.
It’s 11:30pm and of course I’m exhausted so I’m logging off.. hopefully I’ll be able to post these blogs soon. There is no office here, or free internet even for a few minutes each day. We have to buy an internet card so I think I’ll wait until I’m desperate! Lol! 

FULL 2ND DAY
Here we are.. not much to report about today.. I was feeling much better. I think yesterday I was dehydrated because today I felt very pregnant looking even though I didn’t look any bigger than I looked the day before. Strange. The baby is full Olympics mode.. today was use of the umbilical cord as uneven bars as I sat by the pool reading. I just finished The Bend in the Road and have started the THE LOVELY BONES. So far so good. I’m so glad to just be reading but I know it’s bugging Tim because all he wants me to do is sit with him and everyone else at the bar.

Tim got pretty blized this afternoon.. he sat at the swim up bar all afternoon with some of the people we met and came back just in time to go meet our Apple rep to make a reservation to go on an excursion on Wednesday. I’ll have to post more about that later.
Going to get back to my book and maybe a movie.. not super tired today but I don’t want to over do it either. It was still a busy day even though we just hung out at the pool! 
WEDNESDAY
This is the first and only excursion we decided to take off the resort… and now I remember why.. my vacation castapo husband always wants to plan each minute of each vacation with an itinerary and wants to get each of these things done. Tuesday we laid low and just hung out. I actually managed to sneak a nap in the afternoon, not long.. but enough. We had dinner at the Chinese restaurant here in the hotel. You can only book two nights at the specialty restaurants here so we figured we would try it.. it was the best meal we’ve had since we have been here. After that we went back to our room and watched a movie and went to bed early. We had to be up early for our wonderful adventure today.. yeah soooo around 2am I woke Tim up to make sure that it wasn’t past 6am and that our wake up call hadn’t been missed. From then on neither one of us got much sleep… sigh.. oh well.. 5:15am the phone rings and our adventure begins.
I wanted to stop in for a quick breakfast at 6am which the front desk clearly states continental breakfast starts at 6am.. we got there at 6am sharp and got yelled at AFTER we got our food for being early.. hmm whatever.. we ate and hurried to get our taxi.. off we went towards the ferry that would take us over to Playa Del Carmen. We got there in 15 minutes.. our apple rep had told us it would take longer so there we sat waiting for the 7am ferry. We got on board and Tim wanted to go upstairs so we could sit outside but I was freezing and wanted to sit inside… sigh.. that’s where the fun ENDED for me. About 9 minutes into the 30 minute cruise over to the main land I got sick.. and sick again, and sick again… so here I am yaking in a garbage can and feeling miserable.. we docked then off to our taxi.. got the taxi that took us to our bus that took us to like 3 other resorts and met up with several other vans to pick up more people. It was totally crazy.. we stopped at some roadside store to use the bathrooms and shop. I managed to get some cookies and a banana to stay down.
Off to Chichen Itza.. yeah one of the 7 wonders of the world and I was MISERABLE! I was super weak, had a major headache, felt seasick even after the 3 hour bus ride and was out in the sun listening to this tour guide talk and talk about nothing in particular that interested me. I decided to high tail it back to the trees where they had some benches and wait for Tim while he finished his tour. I met up with some other ladies who didn’t want to be there either and we chatted while we wait for the 3 hour tour to be done (yes it was a 3 hour tour and they came back).
The next part was actually fun.. a 5 minute ride to this amazing Mexican restaurant. Their fried beans were BLUE and amazing!!! Between that and the Squirt soda I drank half of, my stomach and full body felt MUCH BETTER. Finally off to IK KIL to swim.. of course it was so packed only Tim wound up swimming there.. hopefully I can load some pics of this part.. it was amazing and I was actually starting to enjoy myself.. we got a few ok pics of us throughout the day.
Finally back on the bus SIGH. So we got done eating at 3:30pm so the Apple rep told us we would be back on the resort by 7:30-8pm.. so I’m thinking.. ok I should have at least 2-3 hours to digest.. umm yeah.. we left the water hole at 4:24 and didn’t get on the ferry until 8pm.. sooooo at least I had 4 ½ hours to digest before the boat ride back to Cozumel. We carefully picked our seat on the boat on the lower deck in the middle near the back over the engine. I had Tim talk the whole way home which he struggled with but managed. We got back to the dock and I had not thrown up once WHOOO HOOOO!! I was very excited.. found a taxi and got back to the resort with just 20 minutes to grab some dinner before they closed. I immediately felt sick when we sat at the table like we were still moving so the only things that stayed down was ice cream and bean salad.. oh well.. such is life.
I’m exhausted to I’m going to watch the rest of the movie I missed last night and settle in for the night.. it is 10:15!!! Yikes.. long day.

LAST DAYS
Well.. the time has come.. it’s Friday night and we leave tomorrow evening.. strange thing is they’ll let us stay until 7pm on the resort and keep our wrist bands to eat/drink all day.. but we have to check out of our rooms at noon. I guess we’ll get a hospitality room later in the day to shower and change clothes before our trip but I have no clue how it will work with our beach towel cards and our baggage will be in a locked room.. hmm we’ll see.
Last night and tonight we went to the show here… sigh.. nothing great I have to say at least it’s something but I’ve seen better grade school talent shows in my lifetime. Each night has the same dancers as the night before just different music and costumes. Not one dance has yet to NOT HAVE a wardrobe malfunction. Tonight was really great because one of the dancers made Tim come up on stage and dance with her.. ha ha!! He doesn’t dance but he played nice and went up there.. luckily they brought other people up there too and he was in the wayyyy back so all the pics I have are of other people and you can see Tim in the background.. of course I had no idea how to use the video feature on our camera which would have been useful.
What else.. hmmm? Not much else.. hung out at the beach today and then the pool.. then realized I had little critters literally crawling out of my swimsuit and a ton of sand in my suit so I finally left the pool to go shower. The amount of sand that can get caught in your suit never ceases to amaze me. Lol!
Ok so our adventure ends tomorrow.. I’m a bit sad because there are things we of course just never did and figured we’d have enough time.. oh well. Such is life. Never even made it to the front desk to get some internet time.. oh well.. it was expensive like $15 for 45 minutes or something.. ouch. We’ll see what we can squeeze in before our adventure home. I just can’t wait to get home to our bed!! 

HOMEWARD BOUND
Okay so here we are on the way back.. our trip back so far (crossing fingers) has been much less dramatic than the voyage to Cozumel.. so far our only snafu would have to be that security at the airport refused to talk to the ticket agents standing not more than 100 feet from where we stood in line because our tickets that were just given to us at the counter were not specific that we were flying from Cozumel to Chicago.. it just had a place for a destination no orgin.. ummm you don’t have this same flight same airline every week and see this every week?? Finally they let us through. Had time to shop at the airport but didn’t buy anything other than an apple.
Today at the resort we had our last breakfast and lunch, hung at the pool one last time and packed.. checked out at noon but didn’t have to leave until 7pm to catch our flight… so we checked out, then gave our bags to the bell boys who locked them up for us and just hung out.. then at 4pm we made an appointment to use a hospitality room and took a quick shower and then headed out for dinner.. We went to this great place just a few minutes drive from out resort. Yummy.
Not much else to report other than I’m super tired and can’t wait to get home!!

IT'S A GIRL!!

WHOOOO HOOO!! So at 10am we are pulling into the parking lot in front of the u/s place with my mom and sister and the place is calling me asking where we are. I explain we are parking in the "pay parking lot" and she says okay go to your left. umm ok towards the sprint store? no? I don't know where you are at.. freakin great.. turns out she wanted me to go to my OTHER left.. sigh.. I walked around one of the buildings and could see the address of the building we needed to go to. Sigh.. we get rushed in there, sign 2 papers and walk in to this HUGE room with leather couches and chairs. A table for kids to play at and 2 big flat screens for everyone to watch. So I get up on the bed, the lady puts a rather healthy helping of jelly on me and flips on the screen. Right off the bat she says "oh look it's head down" she flips the little doppler up on the top side of my belly and we are looking right at some spread eagle legs with 3 lines.. "THAT'S A GIRL!!" I say.... quiet. hmmm she keeps scanning trying to go around the 3 lines to see if a penis will pop out and nothing all the while I'm saying "that's a girl, it's a girl" and Tim finally shushhhed me. I think he was getting irritated at me, but nobody else was talking and of course I can't have a room of 7 people with nobody talking. Nobody else could see what I was looking at on the screen but I saw it. Finally the girl said "yup, 3 dots, 3 lines, that's all I'm seeing.. It's a girl"

I couldn't be more excited. Tim was very excited because we got to see her yawn and we got to see her long legs.. omgsh that girls legs spread from one side of my uterus to the other and Tim said a few times during the day "she's got really long legs" Also she has really long narrow feet like me.

Here is the first 3D pic of her.. it came out pretty blurry and she looks like a globby fish.. not much like a human. I swear on the 2D u/s you could see her already developed features.


the 2D picture isn't worth posting.. you can barely make out the 3 dots.. I was shocked she didn't print out the pics of the spread legs you could see perfectly.. oh well.

sooooo Tim's grandma is not doing very well.. in fact, with the way things run I'm sure she'll pass soon.. We found out Dylan was a boy at 20 week and at 21 weeks Dan's grandfather died.. we found out Saturday that Olivia was a girl, Tim's mom is in town.. things are just too perfect and she is ready to pass. I'm just hoping she goes with no pain and doesn't have to struggle. She is back in the hospital as of 2 hours ago and Dave/Jana are packing the car to get here as we speak. Grandma has been telling me since I announced that this baby was coming that she wouldn't live to see the baby. The fact that Olivia is due on her birthday has just been another reason for Grandma to keep reassuring me that she won't be here. It's sad but it's life. Somehow I feel that the guff is being recycled with souls when I'm pregnant.. because my child needs a soul someone must die in their place. Here I am, pregnant again waiting for a family members soul to be free to be used by my developing fetus. sigh.

The OMEN at 14 hours

Tim and I were waiting for Tim's parents to land in Chicago to see if they wanted to meet for dinner.. by the time they got the car and got their phones turned on it was after 6pm but they called and said they already had plans. Tim and I decided a half hour later to go to a place by my work called Dominicks, it's a restaurant not a grocery store. They have really great take out food and I know they have a small sit down area. It was packed but we quickly got a table. So we sit down and that's when it happened.. I GOT 2 UNBENT FORKS!! I can not tell you how long it's been since I've been at a restaurant that I've gotten 2 perfectly not even slightly bent forks. I've even blogged about it.. is this an omen? Is this saying life is finally going to be fair for me, I'll get my wish and get a girl?

The other thing that happened yesterday was I saw a tiny deer.. not a fawn but maybe an adolescent deer. Didn't stop in front of me, but I saw her, she saw me.

My mom finally had a dream that might be a sign it's a girl (not a boy as her first dream told her).

sooo now.. 13 hours and counting.

96 hours and counting....

It's officially 96 hours until I find out the sex of my baby growing inside of me. I can not wait... but then maybe I can.. I'm nervous about the possibility of this being a boy and our little name battle will officially begin. I shouldn't say that, in fact, it's already ON but the real battle will come on full force. So right now here is where we are stuck. The name Olivia Nicole came to me a few days after I found out I was pregges. Tim has said nothing other than he "likes" that name. He hasn't said he doesn't. He hasn't said we can't use it. His name is his grandfathers name Julian but he wasts to call the baby Jack. I know a few Julians all go by JJ or other nicknames and I really don't love that name. Further, I know several babies named Jack and it fits them but I don't want that name for my son.

Funny story.. yesterday we were on the phone fighting again over what sex the baby is. I said to Tim "it's 4pm and the baby JUST woke up, it's your kid for sure" he laughed and said "he was drunk, he was up all night drinking JACK DANIELS" ughhh so I said "you'll take what I give you" and he said "no you'll take what I've already given you" HMPHHHH CRAP! lol!

So I started thinking this morning about all the things that will happen in our lives before this baby is born. Where Dylan is concerned that's A LOT! In less than 3 months he'll have his drivers license. So at the end of March he's flying to AZ to drive his car back from the Mesa house to Chicago. He'll be with my mom and dad driving 2 separate cars, the mustang and the sebring.. sigh.. Dylan will finish sophomore year and be an offical Junior by June 20th. I'm sure he'll be trying to get a job as soon as he possibly can. I'll have one testing his independence and one testing her/his independence from my womb. It's going to be a strange but very exciting and happy time in our family.

and sooooo we wait.. 96 hours..

THE MIDDLE WIFE

I've seen this story before but Tim's aunt just sent it to me and I was LMAO!!
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant.. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,Oh,Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.. She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

How did ur SO find out u were preggers?

this was a topic on CAFEMOM. I'm going to copy my story here.

My first time around my BF was standing outside the bathroom waiting for me to come out then we had to stand for the full 3 minutes to get the results.. that was 16 years ago and planned...

THIS TIME.. ohh boy. I have PCOS so my periods are somewhat sporadic.. it's not uncommon for me to be 10 days late or more. This scares my husband more than anything in the world so now I've just settled for having a few extra pregnancy tests under the sink just to check and make sure. In October things were different.. my back was sore one day, my boobs were always tender.. and I kept teasing my hubbie that he "got me preggers".. he normally laughed and walked away.. when my period was 5 days late and making everyone else in my offices period late, we were all bouncing around ideas why they were late. We came up with the weather change.. umm ok.. so onthe way home that night I decided to stop at Walgreens and pick up a few tests because I was out. I figured I better check just to be sure. I got home and my husband is making dinner, only becasue he had a meeting to attend an hour later. So he's out back grilling and I figured I'd take a test really fast, get that done and move on with my life. This pregnancy was not planned, so I had every intention of it being negative like every other time in the last 13 years of my relationship to my hubbie. I peed on the stick, I'm pulling up my pants and trying to put the stick down on the counter and the plus sign is already showing up.. SHEEEEER PANIC! holy cow holy cow holy cow.

I wash my hands and watch the plus sign just get darker.. I'm shaking... I open the bathroom door and realize that there is about 20 steps between me and the sliding door to get outside to my husband and I actually didn't think I could make it that far. I get to the door and my husband is out in the yard.. so I open the door and step out and call him to me.. he starts walking towards me and I realize that our neighbors doors are all open (we live in townhomes). He gets to me and I said "we have to go inside" and he's mad "I have to cook dinner, I have a meeting to get to" NO JUST COME INSIDE WITH ME. geez. so he comes in and I thrust the test forward on the kitchen counter at him. He says "ohhhhh" THAT'S IT!

Our entire conversation was like this me "what are we going to do?" DH: "what do you want to do" ME: "I won't have an abortion" DH: "I wouldn't let you have one" DH then leaves the room to go get the chicken off the grill and I start crying my eyeballs out and call my mom. I was sooo scared and very angry. I've never not planned anything in my life. My mom got me calmed down, but it took her a full 2 hours. DH came home and skyped his parents in AZ (we live in Chicago) and told them.

I walked into work the next day and waited ohhhh exactly like 24 minutes before I was bursting at the seams to get it off my chest.. so I walked in my bosses office and asked her if she got her period and she said "yeah.. umm a couple days ago, why" ME: "ohh I was just going to tell you not to wait for me" and I burst into tears! lol! I'm such a dork! I know. lol!

BABYMOON!!

Tim and I have decided to take a vacation before the baby comes. We are looking at our usual applevactions.com for deals. Right now it looks like we'll be going to Cozumel which everyone has agreed is a great vacation place.

Still not feeling preggers and I just can't wait for Jan 16th for the 3D ultrasound. I just want to know what this baby is!!

Blue is leaving for AZ on the 1st of this year, we're bringing over to my parents house today (Christmas Eve). Poor little man. It's been icing out and he can't even walk to go potty, his legs slip out from under him and I'm afraid he's going to hurt himself.

I really haven't gained any weight back.. maybe a lb. that's about it for now.

The Bradley diet

so I'm on a modified diet called the Bradley diet. It was designed by a dr back in the 60's who put 7,000 women on this diet while they were pregnant and the results were amazing.. there was a super low rate of toxemia and other pregnancy complications. Of course, I'm trying to avoid toxemia and gestational diabetes so this is right up my alley. The diet basically says you have to eat 2 eggs a day and a quart of milk a day. I eat those 2 eggs, ready to throw up from the second I grab the fork to eat them. Ew. The milk.. well that's another story. I get at least 8 oz every morning on my way to work. I mix it with unsweetened cocoa in my little magic bullet blender and sip that on the way to work. It's a yummy sugar free drink. I eat yogurt and cheese throughout the day to get the rest of the dairy. I just can't stomach a glass of milk for some reason. Ohhh and chicken.. omgsh.. forget chicken! there was 2 weeks I was able to eat Jewel rotisserie chicken and I've been able to get chicken nuggets down but that's it. We can't make chicken at home.

As far as the whole craving thing.. I don't get them.. not even for sugar. It's amazing. I do ask for extra pickle on things.. but I've always done that. No change there. I just like pickle.

Other than that I'm pushing along. 14 weeks this Sunday. I found out that not only is Kim/Frank from SSL preggers but Susie/Erik is 4 weeks ahead of me and Kristie/Sean are 4 weeks behind me.. pretty cool to be the sandwich in between.

Also I had Heather/MIke due 10 days before me, Carrie/Gary 5 days before me, Angel/Dave 5 days after me, and Katie/Eric 4 weeks after me. Heather and Carrie miscarried which really stinks. I'm pretty upset about both of those considering I'll now feel like an ass any time I'm around them with my new baby. I can imagine they will be thinking of themselves should be holding their brand new babies as well.. sigh. total suckage.

I made my 3D ultrasound appt for Jan 16th to find out the sex. Tim's parents will be in town that weekend and we've asked them to come with us. It sounds pretty fun! lol!

Tim and I are planning a BABYMOON (as my sister told me it's called) our last trip before the baby is born. We'll be homebound for a few years so we figure this is the easiest way to get out while we can. We are looking at applevacations (as usual) specifically Mexico!! :)

Not much else going on.. I still don't feel preggers. Sometimes I feel the baby move a bit especially at night when I lay down to go to bed. Of course, Dylan's fav time to get up and party. lol! I'm still wearing my regular clothes. I got some belly bands yesterday. They are just strips of fabric that go around your midsection to hold up jeans if they are unbuttoned or to cover your belly when your shirt doesn't cover it.. and then later when breastfeeding it acts as a double so you can be more discreet while feeding the baby. Pretty neat stuff! :)

will I ever feel pregnant?

Ok so here I am pregnant. I found out around 6 weeks which has led me to feel like I've already been preggers forever. I'm down 15.8lbs because of cutting out junk/sugar/whites, exercising, and the baby metabolism. My jeans are still fitting, in fact there are days they are just too big. So far in this pregnancy I've had a few things that are different, from what I can remember. I am not throwing up, just sick to my stomach especially around certain foods. Eggs are my worst enemy I have to eat 2 a day and stomaching them some days is a CHORE in itself. It seems most days I make the best effort and still come up short on those. I haven't been tired getting out the shower. I know it's still very early, but I can remember showers just making me EXHAUSTED when I was pregnant with Dylan. I only get heartburn when I eat crap, white bread or sugar. With Dylan it was heartburn all the time but I was eating white bread and sugar.

Okay, I have to get to work so I better log off but....
I just have one question, how can water make someone feel sick? lol!!

Wow.. I've missed almost a year!!

Well, I've been blogging at my other blog but I gotta say that the biggest reason I've not blogged is plain and simple. I've been busy. Since going back to work a year ago I've been having issues finding time to fit things back into my life. I don't know why, but I just can't figure out how to work, grocery shop, make dinners, pay bills, etc.. I had to drop couponing for good, it's just too time consuming for me. But the biggest news has to got be that I'M PREGNANT!! 12 weeks exactly today, I'm due June 20th. A total shock, a total oops.. but I'm an oops baby and things seem to turn out pretty awesome with oops babies. At some point in time every mother figures out why they recieved the "oops" baby.. I really don't care, I want this baby and I know that Tim wanted kids. I knew someday he would be upset that he didn't have any babies of his own.. the thing is I said for YEARS I didn't want one driving and one in diapers.. and here we are.. one driving and one in diapers. sigh. Such is life. It's like someone was listening to that, be careful what you think or say out loud.

Anyway.. I've planned a homebirth but in order to keep my midwife and have a homebirth I have to make sure that this pregnancy stays a healthy pregnancy. No preeclampsia no gestational diabetes. So with this I am on a modified version of the Bradley diet. Basically sort of like Atkins. Protein 80-100mg per day, 2 eggs per day, 1 quart of milk per day, veggies, fruit, 1 grain per day.. anyway.. I had to cut out sugar, white bread, starchy veggies.. so I've lost 15.8lbs as of right now. With Dylan I lost 20lbs but I don't know how fast it happened. I was also very sick with Dylan throwing up all the time. I haven't yet thrown up with this baby but I'm being told my nausea and weight loss is part of the same morning sickness even if I'm not throwing up. Being pregnant raises your metabolism, cutting out sugar, and I'm working our more consistently so I guess the 15.8lbs makes sense HOWEVER I just found out that ketones are like poison for babies developing brains.. sigh. I can't win.

I'm also planning a water homebirth!! very very exciting to me anyway. happy sigh. so excited.

I have to go get some stuff done around the house so I'll leave you with our first glimpse of our new addition.. is it Olivia Nicole or Jack (Julian)??

We are waiting until mid January when Tim's parents come in for a visit to go get another ultrasound. We'll find out the sex then! :)

somewhere between the dream world, heaven, and our meeting place...

I have been dreaming of this same place.. over and over and over. Each time I dream about this place I add something to the detail of this place and remember it the next dream. It seems I've been dreaming about this place right before I wake up most mornings so maybe it's when I'm in the lightest part of REM or maybe half awake.. not exactly sure but let me explain this place.

First I'm in a huge flat piece of land. The sun is warm, the breeze is warm, the sky is perfect blue, there are trees sporatically placed. I think I'm walking through a field but there isn't grass at my feet only around the boarders of this area. Possibly an old farming field??? I'm always walking towards this steep grassy hill that resembles a grassy hill that used to take me to a retention pond at the end of my street growing up. Once you get to the top of the hill you could walk around the oval "bowl" or go down to the creeks edge. In the winters this was the most perfect place to sled because there were areas that were SUPER STEEP and others that were very gradual and the pond always froze over fast and you could sled out on top of the ice.

The first time I had a dream about this place I realized I was there with my grandma, but she wasn't there but I felt her all around me. The first dream there was no pond/water at the bottom of the bowl which I didn't realize until the next few dreams. The next dream I brought these wire/metal butterfly shapes for a project. I stuck them in the round in specific places. The next time I came back someone had planted little flowers in straight lines around the metal butterfly shapes I had stuck in the ground. One of the flowers there was Lilly of the Valley. Butterflys, Lilly of the Valley and about 4 songs represent my grandmother to me. Okay so I had this same dream today, this morning actually, and now someone has built little ponds in 4 separate rectangles around the plants and the metal butterfly shapes I had brought. It's like japanese garden style, very perfect, and I can hear water running as if there is a pump moving the water from one pond to the next.

Each time I walk through the field, then up the hill, then down into the bowl and around, back up the hill and I end the dream in the field. This morning I actually woke up mid dream and went back into it. It makes me wonder if that is when my grandma is with me watching me dream? are we meeting there? is it "her heaven"? is this my heaven? will I ever see her there or always just feel she is there?

This is just very surreal to me that I keep having this continuing dream. I've had dreams like this before where I dream the same thing over and over and it's like deja vu but now I'm adding things to the dream. So strange.

wake me October ends..

FORGET SEPTEMBER! lol! its' been a hectic few weeks for us.. Tim lost his job on the 5th so yes we are both unemployed right now.. not fun for sure. He's been trying to get a new job as fast as possible. He's been doing pretty well for himself having several interviews each week. At least he's getting out there.

Other than that we've been keeping busy doing various things around the house, visiting with neighbors/friends/family, taking care of odds and ends.. it just amazes me that so much time has gone by and I haven't gotten any of the things I had planned on getting done out of the way. It's amazing to me how fast the days go when I don't have a schedule. There is always something to be taken care of, something that needs to be done by today/tomorrow.

My 32nd birthday is this week! lol! going to Texas De Brazil with my family for dinner on Wednesday. yummooo!

Other than that I don't have much to talk about, sorry!

Dylan started HIGH SCHOOL

yup.. it's true.. he's finished exactly 1 full week of high school. it's totally amazing to me, it makes me feel old, and all at the same time.. it makes sense to me. it stinks he started school so early because we had to plan everything around his early starting school year.. oh well.. such is life. In 4 years I'll be talking about him starting his life, going to college or whatever he may choose to do.. for now he's a freshman in high school and has all his high school days in front of him! god speed mr Dylan. (his voice is changing too!)

Dan is leaving for Afghanistan as well.. Mike has been gone for a month or so.. Had a small party to see Dan off last night.. it was good to see him.

Still not back at work.. should be the end of this month or sometime next month.

Amy is on the mend.. she's walking and using her arms but the right side of her face is just not coming back. Tim was asked to be the god father! :)

Not much else to talk about!

what my friends are teaching me about life and death

I have several cases, instances where disease has hit home to people who are like family to me.. days turn to months in hospitals, rehabs, dr offices... mis diagnoisis, immediate diagnoisis.. which is more devastating? finding out now or later.. getting a death sentence or being told you will live with disability for the rest of your life.. being told any day is your day.. telling your kids, your spouse, your parents, your aunts uncles and cousins.. your close friends.. neighbors, co workers.. how will they react.. how will you react???

diseases and syndroms that nobody has ever heard about but then once you do just a little internet digging you find.. it's not that rare at all.. in fact... a baby born every 30 minutes will have one of the hundreds of forms of Lysosmal Disease.. a death sentence. it could be months or years for each child.. it's genetic, both parents must have the gene.. meaning how could we have been so unlucky to meet, fall in love, make babies and pass this horrible illness this fate to our child?? why..

forms of Musclar Dystrophy are the same.. one in particular Friedreich's Ataxia lets a child live a normal life.. they can remember running, jumping, playing.. then one day their balance isn't so good.. they fall, they are weak.. and depending on the person they are eventually wheelchair bound...

Gillian Barre Syndrom 1 in 1,000... you can get it from a immunization, an operation, having a weak immune system, and now I'm seeing some people who swear there could be some genetics involved.. both a mother and a daughter could both wind up with GBS.. another syndrom that strikes without warning.. misdiagnosis, lots of tests and within that time the patient just gets weaker.. to the point that their heart or lungs could stop working all together. Paralyzed they can not blink, chew their food, smile, move their arms or legs. Most will have lasting effects for the rest of their lives and worse it can come back once you've had it..

Ehlers-Danlos.. okay I've only heard of one person with this syndrom that I know.. but he has been hospitalized now for months, was actually in a medically induced coma because his body needed time to heal. Woke up one night not feeling well, went to the ER they sent him home, by morning the ambulance had to be called because his gut was filled with blood. This syndrom is genetic, there are believed to be 6 different types, basically it weakens collegan that also normally plays a role in binding together the cells of our tissues including the skin, tendons, muscle, and blood vessels. So basically you could be bleeding out inside your body and have no idea..

of course.. more common disease cancer.. all types.. all over the place.. so many people I know have been touched by every cancer you can name.. both my parents have had cancer at one time in their lives.. both in their 30's.. I'm 31.. tick tock tick tock... so many out there yet to be diagnosed.. so many diseases and syndroms that most people don't ever hear about or learn about until someone they love is effected.. until that persons life is taken from them..

30 and healthy as a horse, a new born daughter and 2 year old son.. a house with a picket fence, the dog and the great husband too.. it was the day that should have started their lives with everything they wanted.. and yes she lives, and yes she will improve physically.. but she won't move forward in life without each step being a privlege to her, each breath knowing that she was tested, she'll win.. she's got the motiviation.. and I'll ask her the next time I see "what am I taking for granted?? Tell me now so I can take them in" from going to the bathroom myself to walking my dog.. it's all being taken advantage of every day.. is this a sign? the center of the storm? I've had the worst happen to my closest family and friends and I still live the way I do.. should I be more thankful? should I be doing something else with my life. I'm not saying I live horribly or don't live life.. but it makes you stop and think.. and sometimes I have to think "what is next" because it seems just when I thought I've seen, heard, and lived it all.. I'm thrown another curve ball.. and I wonder am I being tested too??

FREE TABLE TAKE IT

FREE TABLE TAKE IT, is what the table read sitting on the cub on a street that I rarely walk my dog down.. for some reason last night he wanted to walk around the block instead of on the path.. whatever little man it's your walk.. let's go. My husband was gone for the night at a impromtu bachelor bbq party, I had just gotten back from biking up to Crystal Lake to get some ice cream. The sun was setting, the air was cooling.. it was a great time for a walk.. not to mention the hottie construction type guy fishing on my lake within sight of my back door.. so we walked around and I come upon this table. It actually made me laugh out loud because I had been yelling at Tim all day to "go borrow a table" for my sons graduation dinner party tonight.

I laughed because it's strange, I've heard time and time again that sometimes things you need just come to you exactly when you need them.. even dumb things you could have easily borrowed from another neighbor. For me the past few months I've experienced this for myself over and over.

For example, Tim and I needed just additional "spending money" for necessities.. gas/food in order to pay off our debt in full.. I kept crunching the numbers and no matter how I played it I figured we would have to wait at least another 10 days for another paycheck to come in so we could afford to live. We went out to dinner with Tim's parents and there they were... Handed across the table as if to say "this is what you've been waiting for" although Tim's parents had no clue what they were worth to us until the following morning when I called his mom SHRIEKING because we paid off our debt. When his dad handed them to us he actually said "maybe this will bump you up 6 hours" with a chuckle.

The savings bonds face worth $25 and $50 respectively wound up being worth over $400! Now that is some spending cash! Tim did not even want to turn them in, but he did in the name of getting rid of the debt we had accumulated together.

So there it is.. proof to myself once again that sometimes you just have to stop and wait, it will come to you.. no matter what the situation there is a way out.

someplace between reality and dream world...

in my mind while I dream I think I confuse reality and the dream world as I'm sure many people do.. for me I've found that from one dream to the next even over years as long as it's the same topic or dealing with the same person in my life that I can remember not only details from the real world but from my dreams... last night was no different for me as I was dreaming that I was with my friend Nicole who died almost 8 years ago.. something inside my mind was totally confused last night because for some reason I remembered her dying but then being alive again in reality. It's so strange because I could actually remember the details of the miracle of her being alive again and then losing her all over. Somehow she just slipped away.. and those details I don't remember, I don't know, somewhere, somehow, she was just gone again.. so I face the fact that she never was alive here on earth again.. but I am realizing that I do believe she is alive somewhere. It makes me wonder if she has been reincarnated and if we'll ever meet again. It makes me wonder if she's an angel waiting for me in heaven and when I'll see her again. It makes me wonder if she's a spirit stuck waiting between the living world and the world beyond and if she'll ever be able to free herself from between those two worlds and move forward. Will I get to the afterlife before her? But then on other nights I dream of my grandma and the funny part is that for some reason the night I spent with her was doing normal things with her. Helping her cut something because her hands didn't work for probably the last 10-15 years here on earth. Just normal.. us in the kitchen doing our normal stuff.. WGN on the radio in the background the loud buzz of the new hour a constant in our house because the radio always kept her company. She liked to listen to news, to people calling in and making her laugh over stupid Chicago stuff... Cubs stuff, Bears stuff, Michigan Avenue stuff.. whatever.. her directing me as I cooked dinner.. "ooh add a little water" or "mix that really good" "okay turn that over now" "time to start the carrots" (her favorite). she cooked by sound, by smell, by touch. She could always tell if I was rushing something or waiting too long and she would remind me. "these things take time" or "okay, turn down the heat" or "wait another 10 minutes or so" as she would gaze out the window watching the world go by through her crystal clear light blue eyes.. nobody in the world has her color eyes.. they were so clear, so pale, just barely a hint of color to them and then the color they were.. just a touch of sky blue. pretty amazing.. or are they amazingly pretty.. hmmm

SNOW IN APRIL!

YES WE HAD SNOW ON APRIL 28TH.. A thick heavy snow at that! It actually stuck on the ground and on cars! Thank god it had melted by the time I came back out because I had given my snow brush to Tim! lol!

this big ol heart o mine

THERE ONCE WAS A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART THAT NO ONE ELSE COULD EVER BE

THE REASON IT WAS SO SPECIAL WAS BECAUSE IT WAS A SPACE MADE FOR ONLY YOU AND ME

BEFORE WE MET AS LOVERS THIS PLACE WAS ONLY A LOCKED PLACE TO HIDE

BUT SOMEHOW SOME WAY YOU FOUND THE KEY AND LET OURSELF INSIDE

UNLOCKING A DOOR THAT HAD NEVER BEEN TOUCHED WAS COVERED IN DUST AND SOOT

WAS AN EXCITMENT ALL IT’S OWN YOU CARRIED NO WEIGHT AFOOT

THE OLD WOODEN DOOR OPENED WITH A CREEK TO A NEW BEAUTIFUL WONDERLAND

FILLED WITH NEW LIFE ADVENTURES YOU GRIPPED THE KEY TIGHTER IN YOUR HAND

THE EXCITEMENT BUILT AND BUILT AS YOU TIPTOIED THROUGHOUT THIS WONDEROUS SPACE

WITH A GREAT BIG GOOFY SMILE SLAPPED ABROAD YOUR FACE

YOUR EYES OPENED WIDE INSPECTING EVERYTHING HERE JUST FOR YOU

AND HOPED THAT THIS FANTASYLAND WOULD ASWAYS STAY TRUE

AT THAT MOMENT WE DID NOT REALIZE A RELATIONSHIP REQUIRES WORK

AND WE EXPECTED IT ALL ALWAYS TO BE THE JOYOUS SOUND OF A CORK

POPPING OUT THE BOTTLE CHAMPAIGN SPLASHING THROUGHOUT THE AIR

MAKING US ALL WET WITH NO PAIN TO EVER BARE

NOW THAT PLACE IN MY HEART IS CLOSED AND LOCKED UP TIGHT

I HAVE PUSHED YOU OUT AND THE KEY YOU WILL NEVER FIND

I GUARD THIS DOOR NOW WITH EVER SINGLE OUNCE OF STRENGTH

SO YOU MAY NEVER AGAIN SLIP BACK INSIDE AND BRING ME MORE WRETCHED HEARTACHE

THE REASON IS NOT HIDDEN DEEP, IT THE REASON EVERYONE ONE KNOWS SO WELL

AND FOR THAT REASON AND ONE REASON ALL ALONE I NOW RETURN AS MY EMPTY HEARTED CLONE

THE REASON BEING ONE THAT MAKES ME LOOK AWAY IN SHAME

AND MAKES ME FEEL LITTLE, SCARED, AND ALL ALONE IN PAIN

BUT DAY BY DAY I ALWAYS PRAY I WILL NEVER FEEL THIS ACHE

FROM WHEN MY LOVER FELL FROM GRACE AND REACHES FOR ANOTHER...

I DISCOVERED HE LOOKS DOWN UPON ANOTHER WOMENTS FACE

THIS ACHE NOW SCARES ME AS I LOOK UP INTO YOUR EYES

I WILL NEVER KNOW ANYTHING BUT THE ENDLESS MOURNFUL CRIES

OF DREAMS THAT ARE SWEPT INTO THE PAST

GOOD THINGS IN LIFE GUARANTEED TO NEVER LAST

NOW THAT ALL IS SAID AND DONE

I FEEL A GREAT RELEIF TO BELIEVE AT LEAST WE KINDA WON

AT LEAST WE FOUND THE ONE AND ONLY

THE ONE THAT MAKES US WHOLE

THE ONES WHO CARRIES THE PROMISE TO ALWAYS HELP US REACH OUR GOAL

NO MATTER HOW FAR APART

I MAY FIND YOU LURKING IN MY MIND

OR HIDDEN FROM THE WORLD BEHIND THIS BIG ’OL HEART O’MINE

DRUMROLL PLEASE.... Dylan is 14

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY! I LOVE YA!!!!!! I CAN NOT BELIEVE HE IS 14!! Dylan has been asking for a laptop for like 5 years and finally we all pitched in and got him a lap top.. and he got a really cool one to boot! Ed (of course) found us a really great deal. Dylan had a list of things he wanted his laptop to have/things he wanted it to be able to do and we pretty much covered all the bases but also got a few extras minus a webcam. He's set for high school! DOUBLE WOOT!!

on his way home to his mommy...

Blue is on his way home!! yeahhh!!! I'm pretty excited about seeing him! Little devil boy!