watching him independent

so here it is... my nephew Sam's birthday party last week Wednesday... he has it with 20 other kids from school, my son, of course his brother and a few of his brothers friends, my cousin Heather & her three kids, my aunt Kathie and her two step grandchildren Harley & Nova, my parents, my husband & I, Mike (Sam's dad) and partridge in a pear tree.. so 9 year olds right... okay they are so obnoxious.. I seriously do not remember being so obnoxiously loud that I rendered my aunt deaf and sent her and her 4 month old daughter while attached to the tit running for quieter corners of Laser Extreme. Seriously.. but in the midst of it all I got another chance to stop time again only for a brief moment. I entered the "briefing" room where there is glass that you can watch as the kids play their game. They were in the midst of their final game before going home, it was big kids against little kids.. so basically 20 9 year olds against Mike, Tim, Leif, Dylan, AJ, Jason, umm yeah that's it.. and of course they were creaming the fuck out of the 9 year olds.. they were on the side where there were way more places to hide and guard your body and of course they were bigger, older, and have better aim.. the game is at like 600 to 240 and I'm watching as Leif is standing 6 foot 1 inch able to look over the tall walls that surround him... and it brought me back to the day he was born.. I'm standing in the hallway outside the Labor and Delivery ward the leads to the nursery and the nurse comes out carrying Leif.. my very first glimpse of him.. I can remember it as if it just happend 5 minutes ago, I can still smell the hospital, the smell of his fresh little head, the look of his yellow/orange/brown jaundice skin, the way he looked wrapped tightly in a blanket, the sound of the nurses voice as she softly said "okay, just for a few seconds" as she looked at my pleading eyes to allow me to meet Leif for the first time... his little fingers immediately curled around my finger and he even managed to open his eyes for just a second to reveal my eyes starring back at me... it was like we knew. I watched as the nurse swept past me just a second later, clicking the code to get into the nursey letting the door shut behind her with a click.. over to the window to keep watch on him they flipped him around like a chicken measuring him head to toe, washing him, rewrapping him and from there.. I have no recollection of anything else happening after that on that day. Just that blip in time that I stopped long enough to smell the roses and really etch everything into my memory.. something I'll never forget. And so goes the cycle of life.. unfortunately.. he is now 15, tall and very slender, his hair perfectly in style, he's got all the gadgets a 15 year old could ever want.. every game, every luxary, yup he's spoiled and I miss the days when I was his hero when he called me Sissy and ran for me.. his big blue eyes framed by beautiful thick eyelashes.. ahhhh yes, I'm pretty damn lucky.