may the band aids be made of kevlar

I just returned from what will be documented as an experience I won't soon be forgetting... Wil and Dan were like soul brothers.. buttheads, stooges, if you will.. buds to the end, the shock of Wil's death has shook us to the core.. and there is nothing like sitting next to someone watching them let go of that person they held so dear, so many memories... I actually felt Dan's heart break as I sat next to him.. his body shook in silence, his sobs came out in heavy breaths.. and my heart broke as I sat helpless to mend the wounds that will now carry him forward into his lifetime alone without his soul brother. An amazing event in my life, I've never experienced something so unique as I did today. I'm sorry, but I gotta say the GAY COMMUNITY ROCKS EVEN WAKES AND FUNERAL SERVICES! lol! seriously... ever been to a funeral service that had singing.. GOOD SINGING at that? no hymns or bible music.. West Side Story, Janet Jackson, Cyndi Lauper, Wicked, you name it.. they sang it.. and people spoke VOLUMES about Wil, his life, the funny things he did and said.. and everybody all mentioned his personality that filled a room, a hall, a town, every person he touched who knows how the guy had the time to do what he did on earth.. it's not a wonder he died as early as he did in life.. the room was like a warm hug enveloping you in.. I didn't dare want to leave it at the end when everyone was filling out to go party afterwards.. but Dan was not a part of that life with Wil.. he was to a point.. but not enough to go party with them.. he just wasn't in the mood.. instead we headed over to a different restaurant and talked about our own stories of Wil.. how we met him.. what he was like to us.. his daring personality.. just a huge spirit bottled in a tiny little body.. it's no wonder he was always bursting at the seems.. it's almost surreal to look at pictures of him alive now.. I actually thought as I looked of pics of him today "he was breathing in that picture" picture after picture lining Dan's mom's walls of Dan & Wil together in musicals, hanging at the apartment, graduation pics, etc... and then came Dylan.. the 3rd the completion of the stooges.. they took him on as part of the brotherhood.. and NOW I find out that Wil & his beautiful successful husband Rich were planning to adopt a child.. how I would have loved to part of that for them.. and my heart breaks for Rich who will move forward alone.. sleeping alone, living alone, making dinner alone, taking care of everything alone.. and I guess for him it was better to have loved than not loved at all because he had the minutes counted from the day he first layed eyes on Wil and started stalking him to today... 8 years... I just can't even begin to imagine Tim just being gone one day.. how would I move forward? how? I don't think I could handle that.. To you WIL, wherever and everywhere you are, a toast to your life, a toast to the others who loved you, a toast to the hearts that broke over your death.. may the bandaids be made of kevlar cuz the duct tape I slapped on my heart this morning in preperation for the service today has busted through and my heart is weeping for the world to hear...